#TBRChallenge Reading Update: 40%

 

Chapters 5-7 discussion (spoilers in updates)..........

If he wasn’t a man who knew how to please women, then what was he at all?

Theo really has an issue with feeling unworthy and useless and in a way that is no fault to his own, born privileged, and in a way that is his fault, choosing ignorance. It's interesting how our characters are going through their own separate journeys, sometimes helping each other, other times figuring it out on their own.

He’d come here with honorable intentions, and indeed, he could feel the first sparks of anger struck within him—but they were promptly smothered by thick, poisonous shame. What man could stand under Mrs. Weaver’s awful gaze and not suspect a monster lurked deep inside him after all?

Oh this scene. Theo's went back to the house that Christine, the intellectually disabled girl I mentioned in my last update and brought gifts. Her mother Mrs. Weaver sees them close together and obviously thinks Theo is trying to seduce her with gifts. Theo's angry and disgusted, at the situation and himself and I know we're probably supposed to feel bad for him but I was all about Mrs. Weaver in this scene. She breathes the fire at him in a way that she doesn't have to say a word, he owns the estate her family lives on, but Theo knows he's not getting pass this warrior to take advantage of her daughter. The guts, because of consequences, the love, and the bravery showcased by Mrs. Weaver here, just LOVE. 

“Also, I suppose I was afraid of appearing ridiculous.” A few at a time, she got the words out, her voice awkward even to her own ears.

These chapters have Martha starting to make an attempt at some form of affection when Theo comes over for the daily try to make a baby. It's starting off mechanical as there are not emotions behind her actions, yet, but she's learning. 

“Who was there to love you, then?”

A pretty devastating line to ask someone and you can tell it hits a mark in Martha. We learn that she was pretty much wholly raised by her governess. Martha never learned tender feelings and this why she doesn't know or understand them. 

How to word this constructively? She frowned at the far wall. “I consider you rather fortunate to be under his tutelage.” No reproach. Only suggestion

This may seem like an innocuous line in their conversation but I love how it gives us thoughtfulness and intention behind lines, which as our characters' thoughts, gives depth of character.

in hopes she’d look at him as a woman looked at a man who knew all the best ways to surprise her.

I just love this line and the sentiment behind it, imagining that beaming look directed towards someone you love.

“I’ve said you cannot. Now put your hand somewhere respectable while I read.”

“You make things worse, you know, when you speak to me that way.” 

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Help him? What fresh indecency was this?

More of that dry wit that I just love.

We get Martha lying some more, telling the curate Mr. Atkins that the maybe heir, James, her husband's brother, told her that he would support a school, which I can see coming to a head. The solicitor also gives Martha a warning that James told him to watch her because he's heard rumors that some widows miraculously are pregnant when their husbands die and they end up retaining the estate in their son's name. Looks like James might be making an appearance soon, so that dread is hovering at the edges. 

I don't know if I'm smelling this whiff right either but there seems like there could be something between Martha and Mr. Atkins? She's offhandedly reminisced of the life she could have if she married him and then these chapters had a hint of something possible between them. I'm wondering if the author is setting up for an "easy" choice to quietly marry Mr. Atkins and a more life to the fullest option of Theo.