Breath of Magic by Teresa MedeirosMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
'Tristan Lennox – founder, CEO, and primary stockholder of Lennox Enterprises – offers one million dollars to anyone who can prove that magic exists outside the boundaries of science.
So, this book was goofy as hell, but probably obviously when it's about a twenty year old woman who is being tried as a witch and then gets transported to the futuristic 1996.
Arian has been shuffled around all her life, she never knew her father and her mother was a courtesan in King Louis IV court. When her mother marries a Puritan, the natural next step for a courtesan from Versailles, Arian is forced to be sent away from her grandmother and travels to America to be with her mother. Except her mother has died but the stepdad didn't get the romance genre memo about being wicked and isn't a bad chap, except he's a Puritan. So whoopsie, Arian now has the devil in her and is thought to be a witch. But hold on, Arian did make candlesticks dance around the dude's head, so saints preserve me, I had to kind of side with stepdad at this moment.
Before Arian's mother left one of her johns, she stole an emerald amulet and gave it to Arian. Whenever Arian clutches the amulet, whatever she wishes to happen, happens! Arian thinks she is a witch! But, Arian, my gal, it's 1680ish Witch Hysteria, let's be a little more careful. However, Arian did get the romance genre '90s memo about hot blooded heroines and she clutching that amulet for all she's worth.
Puritans always get the memo and the new Reverend in town is ready to drown a witch. Shocking, it's made out that he seems to have the hots for Arian and if she agrees to stay with him in his attic Red Room, he'll save her soul (I want you all to keep this hovering in your mind). Arian not about him and while they throw Arian into the lake to drown, this random Scottish woman (seriously, the most random character) steals back Arian's amulet from the Reverend and throws it into Arian's hands as she's drowning. Arian thinks a goofy rhyme/spell.
Arian's now in 1996 flying on a broom in the sky.
Bring in our billionaire who has put out a challenge to prove that magic is real with a prize of 1 million dollars. Arian shows up on her broom and crashes his party. The rest is probably obvious with 1600s Arian saying and doing goofy things when she doesn't understand 20th century things and slowly warming the heart of the cold cynical billionaire. There was some funny cute moments from this aspect.
He groaned. Christ, it was worse than he thought. He wasn't dying of a heart attack. He was falling in love with a witch. He didn't need a cardiologist. He needed an exorcist.
What wasn't predictable was the tie-in billionaire Tristan had with the amulet and a certain Reverend. I'm going to put the tie-in stuff in spoilers, so skip if wanting to be clueless going into reading
SPOILER
END SPOILER
I can not write a coherent review of this book, I feel like only over mimosa brunch could I get out everything there was to ̶q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶d̶l̶y̶ talk about this story.
After the middle falling in love, rinse repeat of Tristan feeling betrayed then loving Arian, time traveling, and REVEREND WEIRDNESS, there was the eventual HEA.
And a little thrown out maaaaaybe about Arian's witchy possibilities.
The only thing about this book that actually made sense was when Arian puts on her shoes (I think ballet shoes) on the wrong foot, because in the 1600s shoes weren't made with a difference for side.
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Oh my god, someone else who read this!!! I squealed when I read your comment, lol. This was so batshit! All day goofy stuff from this kept popping up in my head that I forgot to include in this review (Arian getting lost in Harlem and befriending Crips(?)). I could have rolled with the batshit but you are so right on nothing making sense! I'm still stuck on how Lize (Reverend/partner's dad) knew that the emerald was Warlock?? Good guessing?? The whole weird incest thing I just couldn't believe, like wtf??There needs to be a brunch organized for all readers of this book, we need to drink discuss this story, lol.
DeleteBack in the dark ages (late 1990s/very early 2000s), I came across a reader-run bulletin board where some people were very much fans of the author, and recommended her to the heavens. I know I tried another one, that I cannot, for the life of me, remember at all, and then this one.
DeleteOther than, "that's bananapants" and "how did you drop one good historical fact like that, then keep going with the bananapants?" I don't really remember much.
Incest: would you be shocked that I can, off the top of my head, I can name another incest book published in the late 1990s? (Linda Howard, Shades of Twilight). It was, sadly, a thing for a short period of time.
Sounds like I could have been on that board, lol. I LOVE Thief of Hearts by her and Yours Until Dawn and Heather and Velvet I really enjoyed. I haven't reread the last two in years but I can still be found recommending Thief of Hearts. I've read a lot of her books and usually give 3 stars, I did hate Shadows and Lace but none of the sixteen books I've previously read by her could prepare me for this one! OFF THE RAILS.
DeleteOk, so you're making me search through the cobwebs of my mind and I feel like I can kind of remember some of the weird incest creeping?!? I do faintly remember when I first started reading Medievals, in the '90s, so they were probably more '70s/80s pubs they liked to do the bullshit gay villain character and of course had to make them sexually deviant, nonconsently going after people.
Wait, have your read Through a Dark Mist by Marsha Canham? I could be totally wrong but I faintly feel like there was something there with the mom/stepmom and incest?? She was completely evil but I may attributing something that wasn't there but I don't know why that book suddenly came to me. I don't blame my brain for working to forget incest elements in a romance story. :/
Marsha Canham doesn't ring any bell at all--but Catherine Coulter had some seriously fucked up stuff.
DeleteOh my god, yes! Coulter! Years ago I got a big box of her books off ebay and spent like two months binging. Felt like I came out of some kind of bender when I was done lol.
DeleteMy sister--a year older than me--has been a fan since forever; I bailed after two. I preferred my bananapants á la Johanna Lindsey. Or I should say, she hit the top of my tolerance for weirdness.
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