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“This Felmet hates the kingdom,” Nanny went on. “They all say it. They say when they go to talk to him he just stares at them and giggles and rubs his hand and twitches a bit.”

*******

But this new man just wants the power. He hates the kingdom.”

“It’s a bit like a dog, really,” said Magrat.

Granny looked at her with her mouth open to frame some suitable retort, and then her face softened. “Very much like,” she said. “A dog doesn’t care if its master’s good or bad, just so long as it likes the dog.”

I really need these witches to defeat the new king Felmet and Susan Collinshis wife.

Oh man, some of the underlining truths in this story :(

“Lady, the duke wishes to chop down the forests, is this not so?”

“The trees talk about me,”whispered Lord Felmet. “I hear them whisper when I go riding. They tell lies about me!”

The duchess and the Fool exchanged glances.

“But,”the Fool continued, “this policy has met with fanatical opposition.”

“What?”

“People don’t like it.”

The duchess exploded. “What does that matter?”she roared. “We rule! They will do what we say or they will be pitilessly executed!”

The Fool bobbed and capered and waved his hands in a conciliatory fashion.

“But, my love, we will run out of people,”murmured the duke.

“No need, no need!”said the Fool desperately. “You don’t have to do that at all! What you do is, you—”he paused for a moment, his lips moving quickly—“you embark upon a far-reaching and ambitious plan to expand the agricultural industry, provide long-term employment in the sawmills, open new land for development, and reduce the scope for banditry.”

This time the duke looked baffled. “How will I do that?”he said.

“Chop down the forests.”

I helplessly laughed outloud with this one,

“But the biggest thing she ever did,” said Nanny, ignoring the interruption, “was to send a whole palace to sleep for a hundred years until…” She hesitated. “Can’t remember. Was there rose bushes involved, or was it spinning wheels in that one? I think some princess had to finger…no, there was a prince. That was it.”

“Finger a prince?” said Magrat, uneasily.