Review: Only on Gameday

Only on Gameday by Kristen Callihan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

“We look like a real couple— don’t worry. It would only be on game days and a few public appearances.” 

Growing up neighbors, Penelope and August were always around each other but while Penelope had no problem being comfortable around his siblings, there was always an awkwardness between them. Now all grown up, August is a professional star quarterback, who's facing some team discipline after going a bit wild and Penelope's trying to find a way to hang onto her grandparent's home she inherited after their death. August comes up with the solution for a fake relationship, she'll make him look respectable and he'll help her pay the taxes on the home until she can come up with a more consistent income. They say it will only be game days but secret childhood crushes won't be denied. 

“Pen, you were always August’s girl. You just never realized it.” 

This felt along the lines of more light and fluffy, if you've read Callihan before, you're going to enjoy falling back into her voice. You'll probably not want to squint to hard at the story setup, August (his last name's Luck, yes I struggled with not picturing him as Andrew Luck) needing to suddenly look respectable because of a few pictures of him drunk and dancing didn't really track as to why and how's but through his pov he does some admitting that he may have forced things when reader's get let-in that he's always had feelings for Penelope. Penelope's story of needing the tax money to hang onto her grandparent's ten million dollar home felt a bit not fitting quite right also, especially when she constantly refuses to accept money from August. It was kind of what are we doing here, just forcing the trope? They are good together though, so you'll enjoy reading about them. 

I’ve often wondered why it is some people shine and others don’t. But perhaps it’s the ones doing the looking that make it so. 

There were times I felt a little spoon fed, instead of learning and experiencing the story thread, thoughts, and feelings from the characters we got blatant spelled out stuff. There was also some feeling that everyone had to act so right and proper, let people be a little messy sometimes, let them learn and grow! I did enjoy Penelope and August's flirting back and forth and their first time together was really good, will draw you into their relationship more. There was also this line drop: “You say you’re a side character in everyone else’s story. In my story, Pen, you are the main character. You always will be.”, which will make you feel good for the character. Some not quite fitting puzzle pieces to get them together, a little bit of family and personal drama for outside poking at, and a sweet couple that may not be memorable but you'll probably enjoy spending some time with.

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TBRChallenge Review: Summer Games

Summer Games by Elizabeth Lowell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

2.5 stars 

This month's TBRChallenge theme was Celebrations!, fighting a cold, I reached into my garage sale book boxes and pulled out Summer Games. The 1984 LA Olympics count for celebrations I say! This book had a couple of reoccurring themes that just about drove me batty because of how hammered on they were. Our main male character Cord grew-up around horses and was a rodeo bronco buster before Vietnam called and he constantly is given a “shaman's” voice as he works to get our female main character's horse, Devlin's Waterloo, to trust him. If I had read this on an electronic device, I'd have done a count on how many times it was used, since I only had a paperback, you'll have to take my conservative estimate of one million times. There was also the discussion of coming in from the cold, the whole underlining women warm the hearth and home for the men coming in from cold of protecting and providing, the “queen” and “solider” analogy became a lot in it's repetitiveness. 

She was a fool to be interested in a man who was like her father, so involved in his work that he lived his life at the end of an electronic leash. She had left that world behind once. She would never enter it again, no matter the lure. 

At it's essence, Summer Games was a romantic suspense where retirement landing you in the soft thighs of a younger woman who also comes with a hot stallion sounds like a good idea and we're all destined to marry our fathers. Raine grew-up with a father that did super secret American government work and she hated how his family always came a distant second, he's never even seen her ride in her equestrian competitions. This has soured her on men of a certain cut of cloth, so when she's, literally, knocked out of her shoes by Cord, he has his work cut out for him. Cord came off a bit...intense. But I've never ran point on security for the Olympics, so who am I too judge? When Raine's looking over the course she'll run during the competition, he thinks she's a “Cuban or Lebanese commando” terrorist setting bombs. Their “meet-cute” has sparks flying and Cord instantly knowing he wants her while Raine only sees her father and tries to put up her walls. I say try because, lol, she be rubbing all up and down this man. 

But she was so warm in his arms, and he was so cold inside. 

The first half really focused on their romance and the pushing and pulling of their attraction with not wanting to get emotionally involved, Raine not wanting to get involved with a man she'll come second to and Cord knowing he lives too secretive and dangerous of a life. I went back and forth if I thought this was overwritten with remnants of purple prose or if we're losing the recipes. Example: He wanted to take Raine down to the golden grass and make love to her until nothing else was real, no past or future, no rights or wrongs, nothing but sunset sliding into night, a man and woman alone, two lovers turning and twining and blending intimately, two flames burning as one in a world of crimson silence. 

Purple prose-y, can see the cringe but “nothing but sunset sliding into night” and “burning as one in a world of crimson silence.”. We're using our words!! But maybe we already had made rent and needed to settle down. 

He wanted to seduce her in more than a merely physical way. He wanted her to trust him. 

The later second half finally gives us a focus on Raine's equestrian trials and you'll learn about dressage, cross country racing, and jumping, which was interesting and I didn't think textbook-ed it to eye-glazing. The suspense part about the notorious “Barracuda” assassin that was hovering on the edges also comes to the forefront, sort of, when Cord's constantly called away to “monitor” and do super secret DIA anti-terrorism stuff. I wish we had gotten more with Raine and her family, we get a few scenes with her father (guy plays the lips zipped spy well, give her more info!) so that more resolution could have been had there.

“And you're an expert on love?” she said, her voice hard and dry. 

“No,” he said softly. “I'm an expert on dying. On not loving. On being lonely. On looking at castles from the outside. On finding a woman worth having and then watching her bar the gate against me because I'm just a soldier, not a king.” 

After all are protected (any violence of this kind is completely off page) and Raine wins her Olympic medal but Cord disappears, she ends up on a ranch in Arizona until her HEA choppers in. The repeated term use of shaman, queen, and soldier was super tiring but the backstory of how Cord grew-up around horses (family of Mesteñeros ) was brilliant because of how it then linked and gave a thread to him helping and connecting with her through her stallion, which was her family for all intents and purposes. The women providing warmth and succor for warrior men theme was meh, Cord wasn't the cardboard cut-out alpha man, he had layers and it didn't feel like a treatise on the ideal, but meh. 

“I don't believe it anymore. Tomorrow will come for us. When it does, I want it to be right. I want to know that I didn't take you off-balance and more than a little afraid. I'm good at taking people that way. Too good. It's part of my job. But not you,” said Cord, his voice deep, a river running through moonlight and darkness down to a warm sea. “I want you in a very special way, Raine. I can wait one more day for that. I've already waited a lifetime.” 

What stood out the most for me, was the touching and caressing between these two (let me Bat signal – washes her hair scene), they weren't just slot A slot B fucking, which, please, bring back caressing. There were more than one purple prose remnant scenes like this: Shirtless, barefoot, Cord rode the screaming blood-bay whirlwind. The man's muscles bunched and gleamed in the bright moonlight even as the stallion's did, two powerful, supremely conditioned males fighting for dominance. 

Obviously can read a little goofball out of context but in this story and the contextual moment, it's also put a capital on that W-riting. So while I had fun with some of the scenery chewing going on here, I'm not sure I'd recommend for this to be one to go back and visit, but I'll give it up to the “I can wait one more day, I've already waited a lifetime” to it all.

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Review: Heated Rivalry

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I buddy read this on StoryGraph but quick thoughts, 

We were supposed to stand alone at the top, but we will always be there together. We will keep climbing until no one else can reach us, but it will always be together. There had been nothing apologetic in Hollander’s eyes, but there had been no gloating either. And by the time Ilya had shaken the last Canadian hand in the lineup, he was smirking to himself. Because soon the real battle between himself and Shane Hollander would begin. And he couldn’t fucking wait. 

An erotica with good tension and hockey talk! I liked how the story started with a grab you bang and then went back and showed how the eight years had progressed for the two. 

Shane started off the vulnerable hurt your heart with him walking that shame and safety line while Ilya was the more outgoing, you can see how both of their personalities gave and received from each other. As the story goes on, their roles kind of reverse and we get Shane having to be there for Ilya as he deals with emotional abuse from his family and the danger of his home country of Russia. I thought Shane was a little naive here, thinking about/understanding the danger Ilya could be in but his character has that cloak of sheltered throughout; not sure it totally fit. 

I love when erotica has deeply emotional moments, it makes the sex scenes better. Instead of trying to get readers blushing with dirty words, the emotional groundwork has you feeling the connection, which makes the sex scenes feel more intimate, leading to hot scenes and that was done here often. 

He wanted to tell Shane that the closest he felt to home was when he was with him. 

YesYesYes, this always what I want to feel between my leads in romance! 

I liked the ending, it had them together in a HEA way but also one that emotionally resonated in a believable way. 

The old 24/7 Pens & Caps HBO doc shoutout, was much deserved, MASTER PIECE lol

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TBRChallenge Review: Evvie Drake Starts Over

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

After all this time, he would wonder, why now? He wouldn’t know that, today exactly, Evvie had been with him for half her life. 

In continuing to limp my way to completing SuperWendy's TBRChallenge, I finally finished May's Older Couple theme book. Now, when I was looking for a book for this theme Evvie Drake was on numerous lists for older couples, it was at my local library, so I could use it for a bingo square for another game I'm playing, and it has been on my tbr for more than five years. Y'all, I think Evvie is in her early to late thirties and I'm guessing Dean is in the mid to late thirties range. Older couple. I feel like dust. Anywhooooooooo 

“I do think we should have a deal.” 

She looked at him expectantly. 

“You don’t ask me about baseball,” he said, “and I don’t ask you about your husband.” 

On the day that Evvie is packing her car to leave her highschool sweetheart husband, he gets into a car accident and dies. This leaves her as the “grieving” widow, stuck in a role that doesn't fit. I'd put this in the women's fiction with romance category and while I enjoyed Evvie and Dean's interactions and chemistry, it was all about that living in quiet desperation with a supposed golden boy who is emotionally and physically abusive. Exploring Evvie's character as she goes through life and interactions trying to maintain her composure, keeping up a facade that she not only can't physically or emotionally do anymore, she's learning that she doesn't need or should have to. I liked how the author showed the nefarious ways it's easy to slip into this role and dynamic, Evvie met her husband while still in highschool and felt “lucky” to be noticed by him, all the while learning (emotional abused) how to keep him happy at the expense of herself (She was the one, after all, who had graduated second in her class, right behind him, after tanking her math final because she knew how much it meant to him to be valedictorian.). Along with emotional abuse there are physical abuse content warnings, this shows how as their relationship went on and her husband felt more comfortable, the abuse was ramping up. Evvie didn't have the language or emotional maturity to fully understand what was happening to her, especially since her abuser was so apt at keeping it hidden and the culture of shame kept her quiet. It's what makes this story/book so important, giving space to talk out and name these abuses. 

They wouldn’t have believed that the reasons she rarely felt like dancing with him had to do with the way he was at home. She knew the way he sort of glowed for most people. She probably knew it better than anybody, because she’d traded away more than anybody in return for it. 

Dean did have his own issues, he got the yips during his major league pitching career, which ultimately ended it. Evvie's bestfriend Andy is friends with Dean and he pairs them together with Dean renting out an apartment in Evvie's house so he can get away from the spotlight. It's summer so I loved the baseball additive and enjoyed some of the baseball history and lore but the ending to this thread of his was kind of meh, which I guess is another life lesson but meh all the same. This took place over a year, so you could say their relationship was a slow burn and again, I enjoyed them together but not the main reason I gave this four stars. 

“Who knows you?” he asked. 

The other main relationship was Evvie and her bestfriend Andy and how by her not telling him the truth about her marriage made Andy feel not as close or as important to her as he felt she was to him. It's a great look/discussion in all the ways people work to hide themselves and keep up an image by trying to protect themselves emotionally but end up only hurting themselves more. Also, a great look at how friendships can change over time as romances enter the picture. This was languid at times, insightful, emotional, funny, sweet, and hurt so good. The way it showed and called out a particular form of hidden abuse and how Evvie eventually built up the strength to call it so and work to emotionally navigate through it, will make you want to donate a copy to every library.

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Review: Slipstream

Slipstream by Madge Maril
My rating: 0 of 5 stars

2 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

It was already over. I just hadn’t known it. 

Lilah has moved down to Texas from Washington D.C. to film a documentary paid for by a Formula 1 team about their drivers. She films with her bestfriend turned boyfriend Max and they're coming off doing an award winning doc about a congressman. Lilah knows nothing about Formula 1 and wants to do important film making, not a puff piece, but as someone diagnosed with ADHD and neurodivergent, she has let Max lead her in things she should like and how she should act. Her plan is to get down to Texas and convince him that they shouldn't do the film but instead he promptly breaks up with her and tells her he's kicking her out of the company that has both their names on it. Fortunately, the driver Lilah was assigned to film, Arthur, has his own grievances and agenda. He'll help her get the doc tanked if she'll help him get his uncle to fire him off the team. The fake dating plan they come up with sounds great, until real feelings get involved. 

The enemy of my enemy is a Formula 1 reserve driver trying to break his contract, as the saying goes. 

I had just read a Formula 1 book and a very similar dynamic between the main characters a little before I read this and I think that may have lead to me not enjoying this as much. The plan Lilah and Max come up with never quite made sense to me, they're going to fake date but not so much that people can really realize and that is supposed to get his uncle to fire him and get them to trash the doc? Until the end when this plan comes into play, I just ignored it instead of trying to figure it out. 

“You know what you remind me of? We used to feed this angry stray cat out in Rome. Micetta, we called her. She bit me every time I pet her.” 

“Masochist,” I mumble. 

“You wish.” 

This was told all from Lilah's point-of-view and she spends a lot of time pointing out how feeling so different from everyone else, which she puts down to her ADHD, has her constantly at odds with people and wanting to hide away from the world. Of course, there wasn't really any awkwardness with Arthur, he, covertly to Lilah but obvious to readers, clicks with and falls for her immediately. I honestly thought there was going to be messaging at the end how everyone feels weird and awkward and Lilah really wasn't that different but this was more of a women's/lit fiction story where Lilah's issues felt dragged out (352 pages) and rehashed to death. Arthur gets some focus on his family issues and PTSD but his character was not focused on in that a male main character in a romance but women's fiction vibe story. There was an open door scene where Arthur just decided to suddenly verbalize his love, spouting “wife” and the like, for some good pull quote scenes, but Lilah, of course, just passed it all off as “in the moment”. 

But when Arthur looks at me like this, I realize maybe being unique isn’t a tragedy if it’s the reason he keeps smiling at me. 

Again, if I hadn't just read some similar vibe stories and characters, maybe I would have enjoyed this more but this just felt long, rehashing, and more of Lilah's story than a total romance. She has self-esteem issues to work through, her thinking her ADHD makes her so different from everyone else and how her birth mother gave her up (she got adopted at sixteen and has a great relationship with her adopted parents). She says blunt things to Arthur that he delights in and he's just so immediately interested and into her but she has no idea! There was some Formula 1 world-setting, Lilah (readers) getting explanations from Arthur's team about the sport and some race scenes. Arthur's racing team members gave us some pretty good secondary characters and Lilah getting her place in the “family” was a favorite aspect of this book. Overall, too much of that lit fic internal thoughts focus with Lilah and not enough romantic relationship development with Arthur.

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Review: Overdrive

Overdrive by Esha Patel
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

My F1 team is coming to my home, and my entire country will be watching. 

Second in the Offtrack series, Overdrive stars an F1 driver named Darien who was originally from Brazil but moved to California with his mother after his father died in a car accident and Shantal, an Indo-Guyanese woman living in London who works on a racing simulator project for a company but is still fighting through the grief of losing her sister. You could jump into the series, like I did, as I never felt lost but readers of the first book will enjoy an emotional connection to those previous main character leads as they feature frequently. Told in alternating povs from Shantal and Darien, you'll get two characters who still hold grief over the loved ones they lost, which in Shantal's case, causes her to not want to open her heart fully to Darien. 

Shantal, a head and half shorter than me with a voice like a Disney princess's, has me off my game. 

Darien was pretty much all in for Shantal from the beginning but the author spends a good portion of the first half giving a base for the Formula 1 racing world. I personally am not a follower of the sport, so at times my eyes wanted to glaze over a bit as the story gave more to those aspects than the romance. I thought it felt a little off that Shantal was sent to Brazil by the company to lead the simulator project when she didn't seem to know anything about the sport. How would she have made a fantastic simulator without knowing at least technical aspects of the sport, giving at least a decent look-in to it? It felt a little shaky but works to have her have to ask questions which leads to the reader getting the answers; so you'll learn some about the sport. The middle starts the race season and I did really enjoy the description of the first race, it provided those special aspects and scenes with tense emotion and excitement that you want when you pick up a sports romance like this. 

I tell her how much I cannot stand him. 

And then that turns into something else. 

The romance ended up not having enough to it for me, Darien likes/loves Shantal from the start with Shantal being physically attracted to Darien right away but having to work through her grief over her sister before, at the end, she gets help from a family member to help her come to the decision to accept her love for him. I missed Shantal and Darien working through emotional issues/conflicts together, instead of Shantal just having her own thing. Darien does have some father issues, pressure of feeling like he's representing not only is family but also country, and has singular dark moment alone to overcome (which felt gotten over kind of quickly and easily that any emotional upheaval and fight triumph from it just wasn't felt by me), but it wasn't as heavy as Shantal's. They talk and share but the working together to come together didn't feel as strong as I would have liked. 

What do I do if Shantal is my centre? What do I do if I can't hold without her? 

I felt like the story had a tendency to jump from highlighted emotional scene to highlighted emotional scene without threading them with the foundational glue needed between characters. I need those seemingly innocuous building depth blocks to make those quotable scenes hit me with the feels, otherwise they end up feeling empty flash to me. The ending and epilogue more than delivered on giving the characters HEAs. If you're a reader of the series or are a fan of Formula 1, you'd have a good chance of enjoying this more than I did, in which case, enjoy vrooming around in those race scenes.

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Review: Dream Girl Drama

Dream Girl Drama by Tessa Bailey
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

Somehow, he knew that she wasn't a choice. 

If you read The Au Pair Affair, you'll remember Sig and Chloe and their, ….are they? In Dream Girl Drama we get a look at how they first met and why the tension felt so turned up between them. Sig's on his way to dinner with his father, who he didn't meet until he was eighteen because his mom says the guy abandoned them, when his truck breaks down. He makes it to a country club that doesn't want to admit non-members when a blonde comes out of nowhere and claims Sig's with her. From there it's stolen champagne, a kiss on the green, and love at first sight. Until Sig finally makes it to dinner and finds out that his father's newest wife-to-be has a daughter and it's Chloe. 

Leave...them to chance? Can't do it. 

Look, I can't say I found it wildly taboo that a twenty-nine year old man who didn't grow up with his father and only communicates with him a handful of times in a decade is in love with a twenty-five year old future step-sister that he only met the night before. They're strangers who are adults and will never live in the same house developing a familial relationship. So, fair to say that part of the angsty start-crossed aspect was lost to me. I'm also not one for insta-love, so when Sig is thinking/feeling in love immediately, I wasn't exactly getting the tingles with him. However, I do think that Bailey shows and gives us those falling in love emotions as the story progresses, it just might not be everyone's cup of tea of why/how Sig is in love with her. Chloe grew-up 1%er rich, so she has no concept of taking care of herself, she's also a harp prodigy and used to gliding by on her talents. At twenty-five, and I think a push from meeting Sig, she decides that she wants to spread her wings and move out of her home and to Boston. This puts a bit of a wedge between her and her mother, thus putting a wedge between Sig and his dad, but they're not really in the story, just some occasionally coming in from the sides. Sig's love language is taking care of and he does it all for Chloe, helping pay rent, buying groceries, basically what you learn to do for yourself when you first move out. Chloe's pretty oblivious to it all until the beginning of the second half, so if you can't handle immature, flighty female main characters that take a while to grow, you'd probably struggle with this one. 

They were a messy pair. Everything about what they were doing was messy but stopping seemed impossible. 

This had that trademark Bailey heat, mostly on the back of the repression the two have to observe towards each other. They don't want their reputations ruined, Sig is a professional hockey player who's team is about to make captain and offer a lucrative contract and Chloe is trying for first chair in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. I get we're in the TMZ era of being in people's business but since I didn't fully feel the step-sibling taboo-ness, I felt like it was somewhat overplayed (NHL is no stranger to drama, Martin Brodeur's past mess, anyone?) It was a lot of we're not staying away from each other but we can't physically act on our feelings, while Sig hires a private investigator to dig up dirt on his dad so Chloe's mom won't want to marry him. If this is your type of back and forth, you'd be in heaven. 

Had she ever heard him this raw and honest before? Is this what he'd been holding back? 

If you showed up for a sports romance or worried there would be too much for you, hockey features maybe 2% in this, we don't even find out Sig's a winger until 60% and see Chloe at like one game. The scene where they snap and give into their lust was hotly great but there was some, to me anyway, immature actions and feelings that took this a little over-the-top fluffy fun. The whole baseball versus hockey players rivalry game came off pretty goofy to me. When it seems like things are going to be impossible for our couple, a surprise reveal has them getting their happily ever after, which we see in a five years later epilogue, that also teased the next book couple. I didn't completely feel the angst keeping these two apart but I felt their lust and sometimes that's enough.

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Review: The Hook Up

The Hook Up by Kristen Callihan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.3 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

Tonight was obviously an ill-advised hook up for her. And I’m so screwed because it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

As soon as Anna and Drew see each other in class, they're hot for each other. Anna carries self-esteem issues from being overweight in highschool and social anxiety, so when she learns the tall good-looking guy that is sending tingles up her spine is the college's star quarterback, she wants nothing to do with that fish bowl. Drew doesn't know or understand fully all of Anna's issues and why she's being so stubborn about acting on their obvious chemistry but he senses deep down that she's The One, so while he'll go slower to earn her trust, he's all in. 

If only he was someone else. Something else. A regular guy. A nobody like me. But he’s not and never will be. When I think of the public scrutiny he, and by default anyone he’s with, endures, I want to hide away, run for the hills. 

The Hook Up was a New Adult story about a sparking chemistry couple in different college cliques that hotly delivered (did it ever!) on it's title, at least in the beginning. I said that Anna was stubborn about acting on their chemistry, don't worry, the stubbornness doesn't last long on the physical front. These two were hot little potatoes and bless Callihan and her open-door scenes in a contemporary romance (not surprising the original pub date on this). However, since I was enjoying those scenes so much, I grumpily felt like it was a little bit of a bait-and-switch when the second half lost some of that fervor in favor of a dragged out Anna and her issues with mini little tangents. I understand that the tangents were there to entice for the secondary characters that will star in later books in the series but too many distracted from the spicy main course. 

“Why won’t you let me kiss you, Anna?” 

I flew through the first half filled with hot, snappy, chemistry between Anna and Drew and liked how, told through alternating povs of both characters, we could see how much Drew liked Anna but was letting her lead and go at her pace, when emotionally it was hurting him because he wanted to share how much he liked her but was scared she'd run. These two had connections, Drew's parents died when he was in high-school, Anna's father left when she was young and has a mom that chases love with the wrong men, they've felt alone. Emotionally and personality wise they connected, and I felt it through their dialogue, it's the outside world that messes with them and Anna's fear of being scrutinized, which with Drew's popularity, is going to be a given occurrence. The second half has them fighting with misunderstanding where the other is coming from. That and how they're both coming into their own, Anna questioning what she wants to do with her life after she graduates and Drew realizing that he's done with the partying, helped to make this have a great New Adult feel. Their romance also had some of those sweet and angsty new adult giddy romance feelings. 

“I’ve missed you.”

The first half I was ready to give this five stars but the second half changed the pace on me so much, a decent amount of it dragging, that it couldn't stay there for me. Drew proclaims his feelings, Anna's “rules” wall crumbles, and we a get a third act break-up that simply gets resolved when Drew gets hurt during a game (people who don't like sportsball, never fear, mentions of football to more so introduce teammates for future books and only a brief look at his practice and even briefer scene of one of his games). The injury works to help them resolve their romantic relationship and then the last twenty percent was about Drew's mental health regarding his injury, it almost felt like a completely different book from how it started. We do get a two years later epilogue to check in on their HEA. A hot, new adult love first half that shouldn't be missed with a slower paced working it out second half, so maybe the best of both worlds for some readers.

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Review: Blackness Is a Gift I Can Give Her: On Race, Community, and Black Women in Hockey

Blackness Is a Gift I Can Give Her: On Race, Community, and Black Women in Hockey by R. Renee Hess
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

It isn’t easy being the first— the first Black woman to win gold, to run a hockey school, to be a professional hockey scout, to start a hockey non-profit that values Black women above all else. “Firsts” need the support and care of our communities. But by creating safe spaces where others can be vulnerable and honest, we give ourselves that same gift—and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. 

With a title that I expected to deliver more of a scholarly tone, footnotes and the like (there is a Works Cited), Blackness Is a Gift I Can Give Her: On Race, Community, and Black Women in Hockey instead was a conversational piece about the author's fandom, experience, work, insight, and hope for inclusivity in the world of hockey. The beginning lays out how they came to be a fan of the sport and then how isolating it could be at times being a Black and queer person in that fandom. This had the author creating Black Girl Hockey Club, sending them down a road of creating space, connections, and opportunity for others to not feel so isolated. 

Be a bridge to something better, and take care of the bridges in your own communities. 

A lot of this highlighted the people working to make a difference, such as Kim Davis, Dr. Szto, Shireen Ahmed, Sarah Nurse, Erica Ayala, Blake Bolden, and Jashvina Shah, along with organizations, BGHC, Carnegie Initiative, Get Uncomfortable Campaign, and Hockey is for Everyone. Important names to get out there, as the book discusses, resources, information, and knowledge give people a way to reach out and connect. Relaying this information shows the work being done and how many kids and families want to give hockey a try but have no idea where to start. There's a lot of talk about community, whether in person or online but always addressing the importance of building it and relaying how the author has done it, helping with suggesting how to do it.

I am leery of anyone who would rather be blissfully ignorant than painfully aware. 

The heart of the book was the relaying and sharing of experiences of players, parents, kids, and people that have a love of the game that the author interviewed, Joel Ward's thoughts and feelings about his mom will connect and hit hard with many. There's discussion of how colourism and ignoring intersectionality work to undermine efforts for inclusivity and an ending chapter that speaks on how insidious white feminism is to efforts for equality and equity for all. 

Black hockey players are few and far between at all levels of hockey, which means that equitable communities must be built with intentionality. Parents of Black children will seek these spaces out, but first they must exist. 

The evolution of women's hockey is also discussed and how behind the NHL is compared to the NBA on reaching out. The burst of popularity of the WNBA in the last year shows that once afforded attention, money, effort, and time, women's sports can more than hold their own. The spending power companies let sexism and racism leave on the table never ceases to amaze me. I thought the first half of this was laid out perfectly but the latter second half before it wrapped up had moments of not held together as tightly, causing it to feel a little sluggish. Anyone can get something out of reading this, if you're Black, a sense of community, if you're white, a shake up to see outside of yourself, and if you're a hockey fan, you'll feel the excitement and love of the game and see all the ways the experience for all needs to and can improve.

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Review: The Au Pair Affair

The Au Pair Affair by Tessa Bailey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.7 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

A nanny job should be a cakewalk, right? 

The Au Pair Affair is second in the Big Shots series were the friends of the main couple from book one, get their time to shine. Tallulah is in a cafe across from Burgess' penthouse, when she catches a clip of the hockey player elbowing an opposing player in the nose. Even though her gut told her she could trust Burgess and really got along with his twelve year old daughter Lissa, the trauma of surviving one man who hid his true self until it was too late for Tallulah, is now resurfacing. Even when Burgess walks into the cafe and Tallulah gets those calming vibes from him, she's scared to trust herself. It's not until Burgess' scheme to pay the majority of rent to make sure Tallulah is safe with a teammate's almost step-sister, that Tallulah decides to trust her instincts and take the job. While Burgess is trying to respect the boundaries of their age difference, eleven years, and boss/employee dynamic, Tallulah is ready to act on all that steamy chemistry between them, but wants to keep it no strings. Burgess knows they have the real thing though, he'll accept nothing but hearts fully committed. 

“Give me a chance to show you that you’re safe with me.”

I had no problems jumping into the series here and liked how the story got rolling right away. Tallulah and Burgess had palpable heat right away, something that Bailey excels at and was much appreciated. Bailey also knew what she was doing when she made Burgess the one who wanted their relationship to be real and committed. Having him lay his cards out right away, his serious feelings for Tallulah, worked because it plays into his more mature age, thirty-seven, and helps take away any ick feelings to their boss/nanny relationship with giving Tallulah the decision making control. Tallulah wants to sleep with Burgess but is still working to fully reclaim her daring, live life to the fullest self after her traumatic experience (we get Tallulah telling Burgess about what happened later in the story). Burgess was never pushy but never let an opportunity to show Tallulah who he was pass-by, he says he'll be her bodyguard when she's nervous to do some daring bucket list items, like skinny dipping. It all works because he's there supporting her, while having the hots for her, and Tallulah's in the driver's seat for their encounters but always getting tempted by Burgess. 

Tallulah did a little skip as she reached him and his heart followed suit. Yeah. Yeah, she was worth trying for. 

Along with Tallulah learning to trust herself again, there's some of Burgess having angst over his age and how it's leading to the eventual end of his career and how he's having issues connecting with his daughter Lissa. There's not a lot of hockey in this, more like peripherally job shading in but how Tallulah bonds with Lissa and helps Burgess' relationship with his daughter definitely added a sweet strengthening block to their relationship. Just when Tallulah is deciding to fully go with her gut, some of the danger on the horizon hinted at comes into play and the second half has an angst moment where Lissa's preteen emotions and hopes throws a wedge into Tallulah and Burgess' relationship and when Burgess gets a serious injury, he lashes out with hurtful words, shattering some of that trust Tallulah had built up. 

He usually defended other people, but . . . she’d come to his defense? 

The third act breakup happens early enough in the latter second half, that we get a good look at Burgess actionable working for it to get Tallulah back and a believable working through her emotions Tallulah. A little forced proximity at the wedding of book one's couple, will probably delight readers of the series as they get another look at their HEA. Overall, this felt more refined than earlier works of Bailey I've read and I thought made this read even better, the hotness is still there but I believed in the emotion even more. There feels like a set-up happening between one of Burgess' teammates and the teammate's not quite step-sister that has me desperately wanting to read their book and I hope it's next in the series. This, had Burgess knowing what he wants and won't compromise for it but always supporting and protecting and Tallulah building herself back up with her own strength but only growing stronger when she leaned on Burgess' support, and hotness, don't forget the hotness.

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Review: You Should Be So Lucky

You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not ghostwriting a ballplayer diary.” 

It's been a year since Mark's partner William died, a year of everything feeling dull and Mark not being able to find the energy and passion to keep writing beyond a few book reviews every now and again to keep on the books at the Chronicle. With the paper struggling, his boss comes to him and springs the idea of, normally arts and culture writer, Mark ghost writing a series of “diary” entries from New York City's new expansion team's shortstop, Eddie. The shortstop who is going through a horrible slump and went on a public tirade about being traded to the Robins. Mark agrees, with the thought that after a few articles, everyone will see what a bad idea it was, even though his access to the team will lead to an eventual magazine feature. 

Sportswriters are the reason everybody hates Eddie. Okay, Eddie’s big mouth is the reason everybody hates Eddie, but he might have been able to keep it a secret if it hadn’t been for the reporters. 

Eddie, for his part, agrees because he's trying to get back on the good side of his new team and thinks this is set-up to get a few canned lines out there and get the city back to liking him. When Mark and Eddie meet, there's an instant attraction but, as this is, 1960 and Eddie is a professional athlete, things are more than complicated, they could be dangerous. Mark's lived in a secret relationship before and doesn't want to do it again, while Eddie's aware of why he needs to keep things covert, he's optimistic enough to believe they can forge a path that works for them both. You Should Be So Lucky was a story of a jaded reporter still grieving and a baseball player that comes along at the worst time trying to chase his clouds away. 

He’s making gay jokes with a professional baseball player in his living room. He could not feel more surreal about this if he tried. 

If you're picking this up for the baseball setting, there is some feel of that, enough baseball culture to have fans of the sport get that smile over the ridiculousness of all the stats kept and speak to the feeling of why fans root and develop lifelong connections with teams and players. But, there also wasn't so much that non-sports fans will have their eyes glaze over, Eddie's slump plays a big part of the story but only snippets of games are shown and it's more about the emotional journey he's going on in his personal life. If you're picking this up for the historical feel, that's here woven throughout the whole context as the main conflict is Mark worrying about being a danger to Eddie, what would happen if their relationship was ever found out by the wrong person. Secondary characters play a big part of their world, the old-timer usual baseball beat reporter, Eddie's manager and a teammate, and friends of Mark, through each of these characters, the time period is felt in how protective they try to be for the couple. There was also, what turned out to be an emotional scene, that I felt hits hard in it's depth without beating it down, between Eddie and his mother. Eddie spends the morning telling her about Lula, about Mark helping the rookie buy suits, about the dumbest shit that could not possibly interest anyone but a mother, and she doesn’t falter, not once. It's Eddie coming out to his mother without explicit stating and it was the she doesn’t falter, not once. that will have your eyes watering. 

Maybe he doesn’t know how to untangle caring for someone with worrying that it will be their undoing. 

The story is told from both Mark and Eddie's point-of-view, but I'm going to say this is a little more Mark's story. The first half is Mark coming out from the bottom of grief and making that healing journey. The second half had more of Eddie and Mark together, with Eddie also on his personal journey of internally thinking about what it truly means to be gay, where before he knew he was gay but compartmentalized it in a way that had him not putting it in the context of his life. So, while, there is a big romance plot (there are open-door scenes but some go the fade away route before showing actual consummation), it's Mark and Eddie both taking separate personal journeys that then lead them into flowing into their romance. This seems to be how a lot of newer romances are going, and I don't know if I'm explaining right, but I personally like when there's more of a singular journey, the characters are working together in the same journey towards romance. These two are in their heads a lot and when Mark is coming to terms that he does love Eddie, he's by himself instead of having that moment with Eddie, again, making it feel like a personal journey instead of the togetherness I want in romance. 

I’m telling you, Eddie, when you look at me, it’s obvious.” 

“You only think so because you know how I feel.” 

There was a third-act break-up, where Eddie goes on his personal journey and then shows Mark how things can work, with Mark deciding that he'll do his best to show faith in Eddie's belief. This had the author's usual naturalness to writing and emotions that never fails to emotionally draw me in and there was an epilogue that summed up the story perfectly, with some grief and proven and future optimism leading these two down the HEA road. If you're looking for personal journeys that help flow two people into a working romance, with added bonus of historical feel and some baseball, then you definitely want to pick this one up.

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Review: The Swans of Harlem: Five Black Ballerinas, Fifty Years of Sisterhood, and Their Reclamation of a Groundbreaking History

The Swans of Harlem: Five Black Ballerinas, Fifty Years of Sisterhood, and Their Reclamation of a Groundbreaking History by Karen Valby
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

“But what about Grandma?” 

The Swans of Harlem was a reclaiming of historical Blackness in ballet as told through five women who were at the forefront. Lydia Abarca, Sheila Rohan, Gayle McKinney-Griffith, Karlya Shelton-Benjamin, and Marcia Sells were part of the founding core at Arthur Mitchell's Dance Theatre of Harlem. If you're a fan of ballet, then you've probably heard of Arthur Mitchell, a dancer himself who broke color barriers and after Martin Luther King Jr's assassination, decides to start and build DTH, with a board including Cicely Tyson, Brock Peters, George Balanchine, Lincoln Kirstein, and Charles De Rose. Such powerful figures helped to contribute to DTH's success, along with philanthropists' donations, that the company was in constant need of, but the heart of the success lies in the dancers who sacrificed, worked, and understood the importance of what their mission was. Told in three acts, the book successfully tells their stories and brings you back to a world of the Civil Rights Movement, it's lingering effects, and the reclaiming of history. 

He would build a ballet school in Harlem, the neighborhood that had raised him up. And because children deserve role models who show them what is possible, he would simultaneously establish the first permanent Black professional ballet company. 

Art is activism. Let the gorgeous lines of his dancers’ bodies serve as fists in the air. 

The first Act was all about the building of the DTH and how each of the five women entered Arthur Mitchell's world. I enjoyed how we really got to not only know these women's individual stories but a part of their families. One thing is clear while reading this, rarely does anyone do it alone and the support these women's families gave them, made all the difference; it's not just the story of these women but generations. I also enjoyed how, while Mr. Mitchell was celebrated for his strength and perseverance, he wasn't canonized, he was a living breathing man who's personality was formed in a different era and had all the highs and lows of it (colorism is discussed). It added to the carrying over and intertwining of generational butterfly effects. 

“We all understood this to be a higher calling,” says McKinney-Griffith. “Suddenly that step on pointe made a difference. We were a group of brown people, of all different shades from different cities and countries. For those of us who’d felt for so long adrift and like a lonely standard bearer— to look around and feel the power of numbers was just extraordinary. We were en masse, so we were protected. Can you imagine the energy that freed up? The freedom to just focus on our craft. We never had to justify to each other our right to ballet.” 

The second Act, focused more on the five women's individual stories and when they finally left DTH to move on and explore other avenues in life. Intermingled with the individual women's stories were chapters that also continued the timeline of what was happening at DTH. This timeline see-sawing tripped me up as a reader a few times and I thought hurt the flow of the book. 

When the evening’s moderator, WBUR culture and arts reporter Cristela Guerra, asks the members of the Legacy Council to discuss the importance of telling their stories now at this moment in history, McKinney-Griffith responds with terrific gravity. “Because we all have a voice,” she says, looking intently around the room. “And we all need to project that out into the world. Otherwise someone else is going to write our history. Or not.” 

Act three and the conclusion of the book brought the eventual closing of Dance Theatre of Harlem (due to lack of funds) but the creation of the 152nd Street Black Ballet Legacy Council. After seeing Misty Copeland hailed as the first Black ballerina (Copeland often works to praise those that came before her), erasing all of DTH's successes, which are accounted in the book, had these five women wanting to reclaim their spot in history, along with the many others that worked to make DTH a success (there's a touching moment where the women talk about the men of the company and how hard the AIDs crisis in the '80s and '90s hit them). Through their work with the Council, new names and trailblazers are being rediscovered and their history brought to light and preserved. Even if you're not a fan of ballet (there's terms used that assume you have at least a rudimentary understanding of the world) this was a great cultural and historical door into a moment in time that helped build and feed into the next generation of Black dancers. 

He wasn’t a Black man who dared to dance ballet. He was a dancer who dared ballet to see and celebrate his Blackness.

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Review: When Grumpy Met Sunshine

When Grumpy Met Sunshine by Charlotte Stein
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

“See, I knew this would be a mistake. I could tell you’d be all insufferable with me, saying all your cute things until I’m completely turned around. Well, I’m not having it,” he said all in a big, angry, frustrated rush. 

When Grumpy Met Sunshine was a story about a retired footballer, Alfie, and a writer, Mabel, who is hired to ghostwrite his memoirs. Alfie has built a reputation as a gruff and grumpy guy and has went through seventeen ghostwriters already. At the meeting to see if Mabel should be hired on, the two banter, leaving Alfie drawn to Mabel and Mabel thinking Alfie insulted her weight. After a little stalking on Alfie's part, Mabel realizes that Alfie's comment wasn't saying what she thought it was and she agrees to help write his book. They then are caught by media and social media hanging out a lot and the speculation becomes that they're dating and to shut down some not so nice comments, Alfie blurts out they are dating and the trope fake-dating starts. As Mabel and Alfie pretend to be in love, the attraction between them builds and eventually Mabel is scared that she might have actually foregone the fake part. 

she was enjoying unravelling him. 

This story was written in all first person point-of-view from Mabel and in a stream of conscious narrative with short choppy sentences, this, personally, is a very hard writing voice for me to get into and I struggled mightily with being able to lose myself into the story and follow along with what was being said. A lot of this story is talking back and forth between Mabel and Alfie, the sense of setting is them talking in the car, in a house, and a random quick moment at a Beyonce concert. There were also end of chapter additives from various social media sites, Twitter/X, Reddit, etc., to try and help bring the outer world in but they also didn't work for me, I'm not a big social media person, so I think I missed some of that connection and the funny and/or cuteness it was supposed to bring. With only getting Mabel's voice, Alfie came off very unclear to me as a character, and for being late thirties, pretty immature. Mabel, I had a better understanding of but her constant misinterpreting Alfie's comments and actions began to feel a little forced as, you can take into account her insecurities lying to her, but his words and actions really gave no reason for her to think he thought negatively about her weight. 

But there was something underneath it, she suspected. 

Something else they were saying without really saying it. 

About alcoholic fathers, and the effect they could have on you. 

Sometimes they turned you to the drink. 

And sometimes you went the other way. 

The above quote gives some of that lovely connection between characters, they shared a painful childhood trait of having alcoholic fathers but the way it's laid out, short and choppy, imagine the whole story written that way, it just kills the flow for me. (another example: 

His hair seemed newly trimmed. 

She suspected he’d brushed his beard. 

Or that someone had brushed his beard. 

Most likely a barber who cost more than she spent on rent per month.) 

I also am not sure I fully understood or went along with why they had to start fake-dating at just before the midpoint of the story, it just didn't make sense and felt like a forced popular trope thrown in. 

Because yeah, you weren’t supposed to want violence. But god, sometimes it was good to know someone thought it should happen on your behalf. That you weren’t just weak or nuts or exaggerating. Something didn’t just deserve pity, or whatever else she usually feared she would get, if she dropped some of her Bubbly Girl armor. It was bad, and they would do things about it, if they could. 

Things that made her want to do good by him, in return. 

The second half was more talking with adding in dirty talk and some open door scenes but since I had issues with the style, and therefore couldn't connect with the characters, I wasn't feeling the chemistry between them and it all just ending up feeling like more words on the page I was struggling to read. There was a moment of sweetness I liked between these two, Alfie brushing Mabel's hair, but the writing style didn't allow the characters or me the reader to slow down and sink into it, I wanted Mabel to simply breath for a second so we could feel the moment. The last twenty percent had Mabel admitting to herself that she loved Alfie but then getting scared he didn't feel the same way, so after she's done writing the memoir, the story has them parting for a year. The very next chapter is the book launch, which brings them together and misunderstandings are talked through when Mabel reads a passage in the memoir that Alfie wrote himself and she sees his actions and feelings in a different light to deliver the HEA. 

“I am happy, hanging around with a grumpy arse like you. Because you’re not that. You’re sweet, and kind, and most of all, I trust you. So you know what? If we have to kiss, we have to kiss. I know it’ll be all right. I always know everything will be all right when I’m with you,” she said. 

I've read in some other reviews that Alfie seemed based off a tv show Ted Lasso character, I've never watched the show, so I could be missing some connection there and like I said, the narrative style of a character speaking in written word how people talk/think (stream of conscious) is a personal hard style for me to get into, I had to go back and reread so many passages to try and understand what was going on. A personal dislike and some writing that I think needed to be cleaned up, along with talking seemingly ninety percent of the three hundred and twenty-nine pages, made this a story that I could never get into.

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Review: Undecided

Undecided by Julianna Keyes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

Thanks so much to SAM(AMNREADER) for picking this out for us to buddy read! 

A story that on paper I shouldn't like, all first person pov, some stream of conscious, New Adult, and a little bit of love triangle. But I ended up really liking it! 

It's new adult with the characters being sophomores in college, the female main character partied hard her freshman year, her nickname in highschool was Nora Bora so she wanted to have fun but ends up befriending a party girl and long story short, she has way too many one night stands and ends up arrested for indecent exposure. She loses half of her scholarship and has to have meetings with the Dean of the school, where he brings up her sex life????? So, it's good girl time for her second year in college, break out those cardigans! 

She tells the party girl that she also works with that they can't be friends and answers an ad asking for a quiet, studious roommate. She talks with the guy who took the ad for a while and they seem like a good match, but when she shows up at the apartment to look around, popular track guy Crosbie answers the door with his bestfriend Kellan the king of campus right behind him. It turns out that Kellan wants to buckle down too. The big problem was that Kellan was one of Nora's one night stands but he doesn't remember her, which she knows will make things awkward if they room together but he offers the first month of rent free. Broke college kid and all, she takes it. 

It all sounds like cliché stuff and it definitely has some of that but it gives you those beginning love feelings as Nora and Crosbie start to connect, they really are a sweet make you feel all those butterflies couple. The obvious danger looming on the horizon is that Crosbie has always felt second place to Kellan and you know it's going to come out that Luna and Kellan slept together. Without Crosbie's pov, I had some questions about what he was thinking at times but his caring about Luna still came across enough to make you gooey over him. 

Some stuff, "Crosbiebabes" and bathroom sex lists, that make your eyes want to roll at times, along with Crosbie and Kellan being track stars but not really getting much on that, and Crosbie doing magic (Illusions!) that didn't feel like it fit in well to me, but this was really one of the best for the butterfly in the tummy, new love, make you grin sweet moments. I also liked how the party friend was more than that and there was a good friendship with her and Luna, along with a little secondary romance. 

Recommended if you're wanting new adult sweetness with some steamy open door scenes.

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Review: Check & Mate

Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

2.7 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

“I don't think you understand.” He holds my eyes. I think his throat moves. “I want to play chess with you, Mallory.” 

Told all from Mallory's point-of-view, Check & Mate is the story of a girl who's father took advantage of her amazing chess skills, left her and her family wrecked, then a chance comes back up for Mallory to fulfill her dreams, and little bit of falling in love along the way. After getting a glimpse of Mallory following along to who Nolan “Kingkiller” Sawyer is, a young “bad boy” dominating the chess world, the story jumps two years to Mallory being eighteen and Nolan twenty. When her bestfriend Easton begs her to join her team in a charity chess tournament, Mallory ends up winning it all when she beats the number one player in the world, Nolan. Nolan seems fascinated with her but she runs out before anyone can talk to her. Mallory doesn't want to give chess another chance to ruin her life again but when a woman who runs a chess training club offers to give her a paid fellowship for a year, Mallory can't turn down the money. 

There is a beautiful, indecipherable half smile on his lips. “You think I don't want you to know me?” 

This story was a lot of Mallory trying to reconcile, deal with, and heal from her family drama. She's always loved chess and with a father who was a grand master, he always encouraged and pushed but her mother didn't want her in ranked tournaments until she was sixteen. Readers get that Mallory blames herself for something that broke her family up, before her dad died he had left the family, but the reason doesn't get revealed until the later second half. It's a lot of Mallory putting the world on her shoulders, her mother suffers from chronic rheumatoid arthritis so she skips going to college to work and pay for the mortgage and help take care of her younger teen sisters. There are times in the middle where it's a bit martyr syndrome but that does get addressed towards the end. 

“Touch-take rule,” he murmurs. He stands, too. Every step back I take is one forward for him. 

“I---What?” 

“You touched me. Can't stop now. Touch-take rule.” 

While Mallory is stressing about her family, money, and trying to not fall back into loving chess as much as she did before, the chess champ of the world Nolan is hanging around on the sides. It takes a while for these two to really share page time and even though we don't get any of his pov, it's pretty obvious to readers that Nolan likes, has feelings for Mallory. I personally find it somewhat off-putting when the female main character actually, literally fears the main male character, a little a' la The Hating Game. Nolan grew-up in the chess world and when he younger, adolescent to teens, he threw tantrums and sometimes got a bit physical when he lost or got angry, it's stressed he hasn't acted out like that in years but he still has the “bad boy” of chess moniker because of it. Since we don't get his pov, we don't truly know what he is thinking and all we have are Mallory's thoughts and she worries that he is or could get really angry with her (she does fear physically) and while you could say it's in a romantic comedy tone of “I could kill them!” thought, it didn't read it that way, to me. I “know” as the reader this isn't the type of genre to have Nolan be truly “bad” but Mallory doesn't and I therefore can't feel the tingly anticipation of romance feelings I'm supposed to, with her literally fearing him. As always though, The Hating Game was extremely popular, your mileage may vary with this kind of beginning tone. 

“I hope,” I say, serious, “that you're going to like this as much as chess.” 

“I think,” he tells me with a small smile, “that I already do.” 

There was a good amount of chess talk in this, which definitely added to the setting and as even someone who watched Netflix's The Queen's Gambit, there was some new and cool things to read about. There's some drama with Mallory and the players she goes against, delivering some suspense and the thriller aspect of delivering on an ultimate goal ending of her and Nolan meeting up to play in the World Championships (Mallory won't play him for fun). The author devotes a good amount of time to addressing sexism in the chess world, Mallory's experience, some side characters that give their own high and low stories, and then the importance of seeing yourself in spaces that do their best to keep you out. 

My eyes begin to tear up, but I'm not sad. For the first time in a long, long while, I'm a million things, and sad is not any of them. 

The ending has a third act breakup with Mallory feeling some betrayal and then working through her issues with herself, friends and family, and Nolan but then ends abruptly when it gets the game we all were waiting for. The epilogue then comes in with a news article that answers any and all questions. This was more about Mallory's journey to me but did have romance (with a fade to black door slam scene). If you're a chess player who also likes New Adult fiction with some romance and want to read a story about a girl who realizes that she doesn't have to carry the world on her shoulders, this is one definitely in your lane.

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Review: The Wall of Winnipeg and Me

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

He didn’t have pictures of family or friends anywhere in the house. His entire life revolved around football. It was the center of his universe. 

For the last two years, Vanessa has been the personal assistant for Aiden “The Wall of Winnipeg” Graves, a professional defensive football player. Finally saving up enough money to make a go at her personal graphic design business, she works up the courage to tell Aiden she's quitting. Aiden's never been a very communicative guy, if at all, but she expected a little disappoint and asking for her to stay on for how well she's gotten his life running and stayed out of his way. However, a few weeks later he shows up and asks her to come back to work and when she refuses, he claims he needs her help to even stay in the country, as he's Canadian and his visa is expiring. 

“Marry me.” 

At almost five hundred pages, this was a bit longer than typical contemporary romances but even told all from Vanessa's point-of-view and spending a lot of time in her head, this had that devour quickly readability. There's a few things you're going to have to go along with, the whole marriage of convenience trope usage, because there were no later reveals as to a different reasoning or sly maneuvering by Aiden, after I finished the story it was pretty hard to think back on this professional football player needing to marry to stay in the country. He's coming off an injury that tries to make it seem like his career could be in jeopardy but that never really materializes into any felt danger for him. For the main plot point to keep these two together, it felt like it held up as well as cotton candy does in the rain. The other main thing you're going to have to not get too worked up about is Aiden's character. He comes off as a jerk, explained away by his singular focus on his football career and with this all from Vanessa's pov, well, he's a bit of cardboard cutout depth. The latter second half had him wising up to how to invest more energy into treating Vanessa better and we get some background on how his childhood shaped him (abusive father, later raised by grandparents) but while the focus on Vanessa's side of the romance is always throughout, Aiden's character was pretty shallow. 

Everything I thought I knew seemed to spiral out of control. He was messing with me. Flirting with me. Aiden Graves. What was this? 

While I missed some depth from Aiden's character, there were a couple serotonin hits from this couple, Aiden obviously wanting Vanessa in his jersey instead of his roommate and became Vanessa's friend, Zac, two times he showed up big for her, and when he said “wife”. These were pure sugary goodness that make you want to squeal in delight but, again, like cotton candy, after I finished, I couldn't help wondering where the substance was. This almost had a women's fiction vibe with how much we get of Vanessa and life and struggles. How horrible her home life was growing up, the accident that left her with knee issues, the bullying she endured from her sisters, and how she eventually went to live in foster care. Her younger brother makes an appearance and her bestfriend from childhood, Diana, adds an emotional storyline dealing with domestic abuse to help fill out the longer page count. 

“I pay attention,” the Wall of Winnipeg stated. I was starting to think he was right. 

I really enjoyed the friendship Vanessa had with Zac and for awhile there, I almost thought they were going to end up in the romance but before the halfway mark, Vanessa and Aiden are in their marriage of convenience. This was a very slow burn romance, it wasn't until the latter second half that they really start to come together and we get more little touches that finally evolved into an open door ending scene, which ended up kind of feeling tagged on to me. The epilogue jumped a couple years into the future and delivered more of that sugary sweet. If there had been more of a revealing or acknowledging that Aiden manipulated the need to marry for his visa, I would have finished this and felt more like I'd not only seen more depth to his character but also not look back on that plot point with so much side-eye. Readability and delivering some of those well known romance moment hits had me flying through this but after I was done, I couldn't help but look back and miss some substance. If you want a football romance (J.J. Watt fans need apply here) without much actual sports integration, touching on serious issues like physical abuse, romance serotonin hit moments, a very slow burn, and spun like cotton candy, this would be a great pickup.

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Review: Playing With Fire

Playing With Fire by Shonel Jackson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

3.3 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. 

Her invitation, and it was an invitation, hung in the air, neither of them looking away from the other. They silently communicated everything that needed to be said. He took her hand, led her downstairs and out the front door. 

With the one year anniversary of his wife's death, Javier Martinez decides to leave his family's vineyard in Spain to accept the invitation from his friend to celebrate in a Capoeira batizado in London. When he locks eyes with Luna Michaels, a part of himself that has been buried wakes up. Luna is also instantly attracted to Javi but when he gives her a little bit of a cold shoulder in the morning, she thinks he regrets their one night together. So, when their one night gets Luna pregnant, she learns from mutual friends that Javi is a grieving widow, and she battles a case of postpartum depression after Lexi's birth, it takes two years before Luna is ready to tell Javi he's a father. Javi interrupts her plans when he unexpectedly shows up to the batizado again, after skipping a year, and Lexi jumps into arms. 

She wanted her daughter to have her father, but Luna the woman, realised she may have also wanted the man too. 

Playing with Fire is second in the Era Capoeira series and I loved how much of the Brazilian martial arts the author included. A fighting art form that incorporates music and dance like movements into it's style, utilizing capoeira as a setting at times gave a great fun, competitive, and push and pull atmosphere that works fantastic for a romance. The beginning had Luna and Javi falling into insta-lust with some flirty playfulness and then when the story jumps us those two years to Luna having her daughter Lexi and the surprise way Javi meets her, we actually get our third act break-up/black moment right away. I liked this flip because then it gave the characters the majority of the story to work through the problems, more time for believable emotional growth. For the most part, I liked how the time was used but it did get a little slow with some repetitiveness in the middle later half. 

She was 'playing with fire', in more ways than one. 

Javi had some of that Harlequin Presents main male character to him and demanded to move in with Luna so he could get to know his daughter, even when Luna tells him she only has one bed. These two had a good amount of bedroom scenes (the dining room table doesn't get left out, either), so if you're looking for more of that in your contemporary romance, this had it in spades. Javi is, obviously, angry about Luna not telling him about his daughter but by midway, when Luna lays it all out how the last two years went for her, he softens. He then wants Luna and Lexi to move to Spain with him, he can't leave because of his family's vineyard and Luna has a freelance remote graphic designer job. 

In his eyes, she could see nothing but fire and hunger. 

The second half was Luna warring with the decision to move to Spain to be with Javi, she feels in love with him at this point but worried he'll never be able to open his heart after losing his first wife. Javi pretty much mirrors Luna, he's wildly attracted to Luna and loves Lexi but opening his heart again is tough. They travel to Spain for Javi's younger sister's wedding and we get a little bit of family drama from Javi's mother and a very small other woman showing up bitter. If you're new to the series, you could easily jump in here and readers of the first book would probably enjoy the appearances of that main couple as they are both friends of Luna and Javi and show up a fair amount. If you like Harlequin Presents, this had some flavor of those tones or enjoyed Lori Foster's MMA series, you'd definitely want to give this a try. Each chapter had a drawing and labeling of a capoeira movement, the title was a fun play on Javi's capoeira nickname, and the playful battling of the martial arts flowed extremely well into the romance.

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