Review: Heated Rivalry

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I buddy read this on StoryGraph but quick thoughts, 

We were supposed to stand alone at the top, but we will always be there together. We will keep climbing until no one else can reach us, but it will always be together. There had been nothing apologetic in Hollander’s eyes, but there had been no gloating either. And by the time Ilya had shaken the last Canadian hand in the lineup, he was smirking to himself. Because soon the real battle between himself and Shane Hollander would begin. And he couldn’t fucking wait. 

An erotica with good tension and hockey talk! I liked how the story started with a grab you bang and then went back and showed how the eight years had progressed for the two. 

Shane started off the vulnerable hurt your heart with him walking that shame and safety line while Ilya was the more outgoing, you can see how both of their personalities gave and received from each other. As the story goes on, their roles kind of reverse and we get Shane having to be there for Ilya as he deals with emotional abuse from his family and the danger of his home country of Russia. I thought Shane was a little naive here, thinking about/understanding the danger Ilya could be in but his character has that cloak of sheltered throughout; not sure it totally fit. 

I love when erotica has deeply emotional moments, it makes the sex scenes better. Instead of trying to get readers blushing with dirty words, the emotional groundwork has you feeling the connection, which makes the sex scenes feel more intimate, leading to hot scenes and that was done here often. 

He wanted to tell Shane that the closest he felt to home was when he was with him. 

YesYesYes, this always what I want to feel between my leads in romance! 

I liked the ending, it had them together in a HEA way but also one that emotionally resonated in a believable way. 

The old 24/7 Pens & Caps HBO doc shoutout, was much deserved, MASTER PIECE lol

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Review: The Gilded Heiress

The Gilded Heiress by Joanna Shupe
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

The Pendeltons ruined my father's life and my family's future. I'd never forgive it. And someday, I'd find a way to even the score. 

The Gilded Heiress had the beats of the Anastasia cartoon movie, with great historical additives but the romance lacked intimacy and depth for me. Told in dual first person pov's, Leo lives in Boston, hustling as a confidence man to try and take care of his mom and five sisters. His father used to be a gardener for a rich family in New York but when their toddler daughter was kidnapped, an investigation started to point fingers at him and he was sacked without references. This made it hard to find a job and he ended up drinking himself to death. Leo knows his father was innocent and holds a huge grudge against the Pendletons, so when he sees a young woman singing on a corner in Boston that closely resembles Mrs. Pendleton, a scheme is hatched. 

I would need to be more careful with Josie. She had a strange power to make me confess things, apparently. 

Even though this told in both Leo and Josie's povs, I got more of a sense of Leo's character, his scheme to pose as Josie's singing manager to get her to New York and then somehow introduce her to Mrs. Pendelton, convincing both Josie's the kidnapped baby and collecting the reward money, is the plot of the book. We get the bare bones of Josie's character, she grew up in a Boston orphanage, she has a bestfriend Pippa, who we barely see, and she's very judgmental about Leo's past and how he's made money to help his family survive. Josie can hardly lie, could barely understand what would possess someone too, and is that all round sweet, good-hearted character that comes off a little too goody-two shoes, to me anyway. The reader knows the third-act break-up is going to be Josie finding out about Leo's original plan, even though Leo falls in love with her and plans on telling her his original scheme but, obviously, not in time. 

“Careful,” I warned, my voice husky. “Or I might attempt to corrupt you.” 

Her mouth twisted slyly, like she had a secret. “Perhaps I'll let you, tomcat.” 

The romance was pretty much insta-lust, a lot of gazing at lips and body parts that make them have the hots and want to jump into bed together. I struggled with feeling the depth in their romantic relationship, I believed them as friends, but if you're more into the physical, these had some good open-door scenes. If you've been a historical romance reader for years, this will feel like a clearly written stylistic choice to try and catch a newer reader, if the dual first person povs didn't already tip you off. I'm not sure how years long fans of the subgenre will take to it and I'll be vastly interested if the change to pick up new readers works. 

Looking down, I used my pinkie finger to lightly touch the back of her hand---and her breath hitched. 

Shupe is always great with her historical additives (Lotta Crabtree plays a decent part!) and I had a fun time catching things I knew and going on to learn about things I didn't. I wish we could have gotten more scenes with Leo and his family, who he's doing this all for, and gotten Joise's character a little more flushed out, more out of the “I'm here to be lusted after by Leo and shame him for having been a confidence man”. Romantic relationship depth wasn't really here to be found for me, but if third person historical romance hasn't worked for you, this would be something different for you to pick up and if you were looking for some Anastasia movie beats.

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Tip Review: Heart Quest

Heart Quest by Robin D. Owens
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Do not attempt to jump into the series here like I did, save your sanity and start at the beginning.

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Reading Update: 20%

 

I can struggle with Shupe but an Anastasia retelling will always get me to come running. 

I'm thinking more about how this is going to be received, it's clearly written stylistically trying to update historical romance for booktok/new readers and that's already telling me there's a problem in my lack of getting emerged into the story. 

(Y'all I didn't bat an eye at the 3some, that fit to me, lol)

TBRChallenge Review: Callista

Callista by Cordia Byers
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

*This is a #TBRChallenge review, there will be spoilers, I don't spoil everything but enough, because I treat these reviews as a bookclub discussion. 

This month's TBRChallenge was “Back in my Day” and since I'm perpetually behind, I just dove into my garage sale box of books and looked for a publishing date that matched my birth year. I paid for my laziness. Let me save everyone some time, don't read this book, don't even feel you have to read my review, just click away and waste/save your time elsewhere. 

But, since I'm an informed decision reviewer who personalizes what worked and didn't work (ALL OF IT) for her personally, for inquiring minds..... 

There had been no one to protect her, and there would be no one. 

That quote is patently false, men come out of the woodwork for this empty vessel of a female main character. 

Anyway, our “young breasts” (I deserve something! for how many times I had to read these two words together) FMC is currently working to escape her Aunt Nesseilda (this name might be the only thing I liked) after her aunt betroths her to Lord Condor, an evil man old enough to be her grandfather. There was also the beating she took from her cousin Edwin when she refused to marry. In what starts off as the first of cliches/tropes (although 1983 so maybe more fresh?) Callista decides to hie off to the docks to pose as a cabin boy and get passage back to her home, Tallanton, in Scotland. She was with her aunt because her dad abandoned her after mother died and went off to search for fortune. 

“You won't escape, Callista, until I decide to let you go.” 

On the docks, Callista ends up with a man named Rawlings, they get drunk together and as first mate, he hires her to be cabin boy on his ship. Like me, Callista pays for just jumping in and the ship is going to America, not Scotland. The Captain, Corbin Wolfram is a woman hating, mommy issues from her leaving his dad for a Lord Condor (don't get exited for this plot weaving, it doesn't come into play until last 10%), psycho. We get the elements of her having to wash his back scene and her falling ill for him to realize she's a woman. From there he rapes her (I don't think dub-con can be rightfully argued here), Rawlings and Wolfram fight because Rawlings has, obviously fallen in love with her, Rawlings gets swept out to sea (I seriously almost laughed at how abrupt this was), a hurricane shipwrecks them, they boat to Georgia. 

Callista at this time has those “confusing” feelings of maybe she likes Wolfram, they sex on the beach, they fight, he leaves her, she now gets rescued by a Native American, Brave Fox, he falls in love with her, Wolfram finds her, Brave Fox leaves her to him, Wolfram beats her unconscious, they get to Savannah where a deal is struck that she'll be his mistress for six months. 

Callista also has “visions” and she “saw” her dad mining for gold. It's 1820s Georgia, Gold Rush!, so obviously he's going to be around. Things are seemingly going on track for Callista and Wolfram until he brings back a woman to be her lady's maid that he couldn't get it up for because his head was full of Callista and Callista gets jealous and breaks her promise to stay and leaves. She meets up with John Ross, who she met at a dinner with Wolfram and his business associates. Ross gets the hots for her! He takes her along with a Jim, a Scot who has fatherly feelings for her, to the gold panning area to try and find her dad. She bangs Ross trying to get over Wolfram. 

She meets up with her dad! Ross leaves for some reason but says will be back. Historically the 40 acre lottery is going on and guess who wins the lottery for Callista's dad's plot of land? But she's prego with the woman hating/beating/raping Wolfram. She at first plans on giving up baby after born but falls in love with it and Wolfram again when he shows up to take her dad's land. They talk, Wolfram says he'll sell the land to her dad but comes back beaten up because daddy mad. Callista goes out there to talk to her dad and finds him dead with his wife. She collapses. 

Brave Fox comes back into the picture to rescue her but her baby is stillborn. Brave Fox leaves the picture again. When Callista goes to check on her stepbros, she sees Wolfram and loses her shit calling him a murderer. He cries over the loss of their baby and leaves. 

“Callista, can you ever forgive me for the misery I have put you through?”

“FUCK NO.” You'd think this would be the answer given here, but it wasn't. Scot Jim comes back into the picture along with Ross to take Callista and her stepbros home to Tallanton in Scotland. Jim is a big ole' softy and he books passage on Wolfram's ship to get these two love birds back together, Callista believed him when he said Wolfram didn't kill her parents. On the ship Callista and Wolfram admit their love for one another (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????), making Ross angry. 

Evil old man Condor comes back into the picture when Ross kidnaps Callista and her stepbros, Ross turns out to be Reaper, a man we saw Condor hire to find Callista (spoiler: he murdered her parents). Condor gets Callista to tell Wolfram she won't marry him. There's a shoot out between Reaper, Wolfram, and Condor. Callista and Wolfram live happily ever after with an epilogue that has Callista saying “Welcome home, my beloved.” to Wolfram when they make it to Tallanton (Screaming into the abyss) 

This was full of racism, physical and emotional abuse, sexual assault (the random trauma dump of the lady's maid talking about how her older brothers raped her?!?), and hopped from one over used romance genre element after the other. Callista was not a fully formed character and came off airy as one man after the other moved her from one situation to another. Because of the rape and beatings, it's not like I really wanted Callista and Wolfram to spend time together but they hardly do, there is no development to their romance (I feel sick even typing that word to describe anything between them). Numerous povs and side characters that felt empty and made situations feel dangling as some plot threads seemed to want to weave together but didn't quite come off cohesive and abruptly ended. Recycle this one, don't waste time reading it. 

*I almost forgot, John C. Calhoun, as vice president makes an extremely random quick appearance, in case that's a clincher for anyone

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Review: In the Veins of the Drowning

In the Veins of the Drowning by Kalie Cassidy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

For nearly three decades now, he had refused to worship the Great Goddess Ligea— the Queen of Sirens. He claimed Sirens were vicious and pitiless as the sea, that they took joy in destruction, and over time he’d stopped honoring the Great Gods all together. He made blood offerings to his water deity, Eusia, instead. 

In the Veins of Drowning was an impressive debut that I hope doesn't get lost in the sea of endless romantasy being published right now. I really enjoyed the world building where kings rule but serve gods and magic plays a role in good and evil. This is adult and for the most part I felt it read that way, you'll get gory and open door scenes for some horror and romance. This was mostly told from our main character Imogen, who in her later twenties is engaged to be married to a captain of King Nemea's guard, who she has been a ward of since she was a baby. The atmosphere clues readers into the fact that not everything is right in this fantasy medieval feeling world, along with the tension bleeding through Imogen's thoughts and feelings. It's when she accidentally exposes herself to her fiance that she's a Siren, beings hunted in this kingdom, that the story kicks off with romance and thriller aspects. 

“No.” I looked him squarely in the eye— I had nothing left to lose. “I came to bind myself to you.” 

Even though Imogen is King Nemea's ward, she has reason to fear him, so with a first meeting that struck something between them, Imogen decides that the King of Varya, Theo, is her way out. They end up doing a blood binding, Theo becomes immune to Imogen's siren calls and they feel a sense of protection towards each other and make a deal that Theo will get Imogen safely to his kingdom, also asking three things of her. They plan on breaking the binding once in his kingdom because Theo is engaged to a powerful empress' daughter. So you can kind of see where this is going, some road adventure with Imogen and Theo starting off a little at odds with one another but trying to fight that physical and binding attraction. I liked the byplay between them but overall I still wanted a feeling of more depth between their emotional connection. 

“Your purpose— the reason I agreed to bind myself to you— is to ensure that you will help me track down and kill King Nemea’s water deity, Eusia. And it’s your power that makes me believe you can. That silent lure you possess is Gods’ power. It’s beyond what a normal Siren can wield.”

While the romance builds between the two with obstacles stacked between them, the worldbuilding takes shape and I was pretty fascinated by it all. Imogen doesn't have all the facts or the truth about her origins and as she learns more, it builds the plot. I don't want to give too much away but her siren abilities point to a greater role she's destined for and the years she spent forced to worship the god King Nemea made her, Eusia, has empowered Eusia in such ways, she may be impossible to defeat. The imagery of sirens and how the wings tear out of Imogen's back, getting a prophecy from the mage seerer, and the nekgya, dead bodies powered by Eusia that hunt sirens in the water, was really cool and had me sinking into this world. 

“There’s too much against us,” I whispered. 

Even though this was mostly from Imogen's pov, I did think we got enough of Theo's backstory to get a good feel for him as a character. There was also a slight secondary romance between Agatha and a commander of Theo's that helped add to the world and made me wish we had a novella of their first time around romance. The romance could have had deeper depth but the fantasy lore building was more than worth the price of admission. This is the first in a duology, though, so prepare for that cliffhanger until next summer.

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Review: Silver Lining

Silver Lining by Maggie Osborne
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I buddy read this over on Storygraph, but a few thoughts and feelings... 

In the end, their marriage was everyone's fault and no one's fault. 

For a book that started off with oozing pustules and vomit, this had my eyes watering at times. This is only my second Maggie Osborne (The Wives of Bowie Stone) but I'm catching a theme, hard tough exterior women with hurt vulnerable insides who survived trauma, and I am here for it. 

I'm going to be labeled a son of a bitch, and you're going to be seen as an unscrupulous temptress. At least in the beginning." 

Her eyebrows soared."Me? A temptress?" It was the most thrilling thing she'd ever heard. 

This starts off with the aforementioned vomit as Low Down is the only person that has stayed in the small gold mining town to take care of all the small pox sick. After the men recover, they need to find a way to repay her and ask her what her one wish is, Low Down replies with “have a baby”. This leads to the men drawing a marble marked with an X to see who will marry Low Down and give her a baby. You'd think all these men would be jumping at the chance to “poke” Low Down but remember the little thing of no indoor plumbing and Low Down has never cared for her appearance and, you know what, just go with it, lol. 

Instead, a solitary silver spoon stood against the wallpaper in the center of the mantel, propped against a scratched pewter watch case. 

One of the men Low Down took care of was Max and even though he's leaving the town that night to return to his fiancée, he gets pushed into the drawing. (I know, just go with it). Low Down knows Max from the letters to his fiancée and has a desire to be wanted like that and finds him good looking, so there's a little bit of foundation that from her that she'd be open to him. He, of course, draws the x marble and we have a forced marriage. 

But take a hard look, son. When you see that woman working up a sweat pitching hay like a hired hand … you're looking at character. 

Max doesn't treat her awful but he's cold and moody because his fiancée was a rich girl who's dad runs the town where Max's family ranch is and he knows the repercussions are going to be huge. As they journey and arrive at Max's ranch, we get the two talking and start to see the slow build of friendship that even more slowly builds to romantic attraction. Max spends some time with his head up his butt because of an unforeseen surprise reveal for him and it makes it harder for him to open up to Low Down. I wish we could have gotten more of Max but he gets some flushing out with issues about growing up seeing his dad controlled by his strong mother and so he's even more resentful about getting pushed into marriage by Low Down. 

"They're treating me squarely, not for my sake, but for yours, and that's all right. But it's true that I could die right now standing here about to wash up the supper dishes, and no one would weep a single tear. That's how it's always been, and that's a fact!" 

Abruptly Max realized that he had no idea what they were arguing about. Not an inkling. 

Max's mom just about stole the show, if strong capable women do it for you, prepare thy self. She comes up with the plan to try and save face with the rich family, forced into doing something because of a surprise reveal, and the jilted fiancee ends up marrying Max's younger brother. The jilted fiancee ended up playing an over the top villain to me, you'll want to dive in and rescue the younger brother, lol. 

  

Now Sunshine laughed. "You do lots of good things, Aunt Louise! I 'spect you always have." 

"I 'spect so, too," Max said quietly, gazing at her above Sunshine's head. 

Her stomach tightened, and her heart pounded against her rib cage. His expression was unreadable, but he looked at her as if he really saw her, as if his sharp blue eyes penetrated to regions others couldn't see. 

I did literally laugh (a little bit of that lighthearted goofy like a historical Garwood) and cry during this. The story Low Down tells about how she got that nickname and telling Max her real name is Lousie Downe and how he reacts was hit you in the heart, it's vulnerable and subtle in that hurt you so good deep way and then Max getting flustered with Louise's huge nightgown was the laughing feel good relief. 

She had family. 

I do wish the romance side of this was a tad more deeper and played out but Louise's journey to getting a family was hurt so good. This will always be the book of a spoon and a marble making me emotional, so if you're looking for a little western feeling atmosphere and subtly in characters' connection and vulnerabilities, this would be one to go find. *A+ to the later descriptions of Max wearing a duster and Stetson

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Review: A Flower Traveled in My Blood: The Incredible True Story of the Grandmothers Who Fought to Find a Stolen Generation of Children

A Flower Traveled in My Blood: The Incredible True Story of the Grandmothers Who Fought to Find a Stolen Generation of Children by Haley Cohen Gilliland
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

A group of fierce grandmothers formed the Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo, dedicated to finding the stolen infants and seeking justice from a nation that betrayed them. 

A Flower Traveled in my Blood is an historical and emotional account of how the dictatorships, juntas, and upheavals in 1970s Argentina lead to forty years of searching for disappeared family members and fighting for justice. Written by journalist Haley Cohen Gilliland, it takes into account historical documents and first hand accounting from people who lived it. When I started this, I thought the focus was going on to be solely on the group Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo, but so that the reader gets a full understanding, Gilliland gives a full accounting and goes through the timeline of political events that lead to the forming of the Abuelas and the political atmosphere affecting their lives. It gives a fuller picture but also felt too scattered at times, it seemed like the story didn't know what it wanted to focus on. If you know nothing of the history of Argentina at this time, you might appreciate the context but others not looking for a full complete history lesson and more of a singular focus on the Abuelas, may get lost in all the historical players. 

The armed men who now roved the city as agents of the dictatorship were at once secretive— driving cars without license plates and obscuring their faces with women’s stockings— and brazen, abducting people off the street in broad daylight. 

While the story lays out the historical events and details about the Abuelas, it also has a solid backbone taking the reader through the timeline by following the Roisinblit family. Rosa was one of the founders of the Abuelas and came into it by searching for her daughter, Patricia. Patricia was earlier on politically active with her partner, Jose, but then had a daughter and was pregnant again, trying to stay off the radar. She was taken, her young daughter left, Rosa ends up taking care of her, and thus begins Rosa's search for her. With the government unstable, and others searching for the desaparecidos, we see how out of necessity Rosa and the other older women, join together to try and find their children. So, while we travel through the timeline of historical events starting in the 1970s, El Proceso (National Reorganization Process), Argentine Anticommunist Alliance, Noche de los Lápices (Night of the Pencils), Operation Condor, etc, we also follow the forming of the Abuelas and some of Patricia's, her children, and Rosa's journey. 

While the armed forces claimed to be targeting “terrorists,” they employed a conveniently loose definition of what that meant. In their crosshairs were not only militants but those on the further peripheries of the left. Students. Artists. Journalists. Union leaders. Lawyers who defended unions. Musicians. Poets. Priests who ministered to the poor. Nuns who helped desperate families looking for their missing relatives. In the eyes of the dictatorship, they were all “subversives.” 

The small beginning of the Abuelas to the organization it grew to was emotional and inspiring. There were the bonds of grief, the infighting from growing pains, the danger from the government and their infiltrators, and their sheer determination to never forget their children. When they start to get help from outside organizations, like the Delegación de Asociaciones Israelitas Argentinas, CLAMOR (Committee for the Defense of Human Rights in the Countries of the Southern Cone), and eventually an American scientist Mary-Claire King, you'll start to feel the power and achievement of collective power. 

The junta had tried to make thousands of people disappear, and to erase the identities of their children. But mtDNA was like an indelible ID tag that every mother seals in her children’s cells. What the Abuelas needed to find their grandchildren was already within them. In their blood, just as in Gelman’s poem, traveled a hardy flower, the mitochondrial DNA that contained the story of every mother that had come before them, and every child they had borne—no matter where in the world they had been taken. 

The later second half focused on the search for the grandchildren of the missing Abuela's children and how DNA research was the hope they were looking for. An important aspect I liked being touched on was how this didn't just devastate the Abuela's lives but the easy answer of finding DNA matches wasn't easy at all. The grandchildren ranks were full of children who had no idea about their origins, sometimes not wanting to know and others feeling torn up about feeling like they were betraying their adoptive parents by getting to know their biological families. Rosa's family thread continues as they find Patricia's child she was pregnant with when she was taken and he talks about how learning his true origins shredded his life. Injustices like this never happen in a vacuum and I'm glad the generational reverberations were shown. 

“It was an honor to scream when everybody else held silence,” 

There were at times I thought the organization of the storytelling felt too scattered but if you don't mind a pretty thorough relaying of the political historical events of the time, the eye-opening and emotional journey is worth it. The Roisinblit family doesn't get a full happy ending, no such thing exists in circumstances like this, but you'll learn some of what happened to Patricia. As the story takes us all the way up to present day, you'll learn about some of the court cases trying to get justice for these families forty years later, how the ESMA (Escuela de Mecánica de la Armada) prison is now a museum to try and tell some of the desaparecidos stories and serve as a warning when eyes turn away, and how many grandchildren have been found and how many are still missing. It's a time in history we shouldn't look away from and hopefully, learn from, and this covered the emotional toll of living through such time and standing up to it pretty well.

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Review: The Strawberry Patch Pancake House

The Strawberry Patch Pancake House by Laurie Gilmore
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

2.5 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

Archer Baer had just become a father in the most unimaginable way possible. 

Archer is living his dream as a chef in Paris that he has worked so hard for when he gets a call that completely changes his life. It seems five years ago, the restaurant front house woman he had a fling with, got pregnant and never told him. Tragically, she has died in a car accident and with his name on the birth certificate, Archer suddenly finds himself back in the states and in the small town of Dream Harbor trying to raise his young daughter Olive. Iris has always been flighty and doesn't like to settle into things, which makes life exciting but isn't great for her ability to pay rent. Even though she's not the greatest fan of kids, taking on the job of live-in nanny for Archer and Olive, seems like a great summer job. Until the chemistry between boss and nanny gets to be too much. 

He didn't know how to make pancakes, or raise a child, and he certainly didn't know how to say no to Iris Fraser. 

Fourth in the Dream Harbor series, this could still be read as a standalone, as the setting remains the smalltown but you wouldn't have to know the ins and outs of returning characters relationships, readers of the series will enjoy seeing some old friends. Like with all the Harbor books, this had some sweet moments and spicy. If you're a fan of The Bear for the “Yes, chef” tension, this is steeped in it (a bit repetitive at times). Even though there's a baked in power dynamic favoring Archer as the boss and Iris living in his home, he constantly asks for consent and lets Iris call all the shots on how much and how fast. Iris tries to stay away, thinking she could be messing up Archer's chances at getting full custody of Olive after the six month probationary period but while she spends some of the first half thinking about it, she doesn't put up too much of a fight and teases and pushes until they finally crumble and get physical. 

She had every intention of leaving, she really did, but right as she went to turn around, Archer lifted his head. 

Olive had her cute moments and brought some emotion with her and Archer's getting to know you vulnerable relationship and Iris realizing she could not only tolerate kids but like them, Olive anyway. The story was over 350pgs and I have to say the beginning later second half did drag as we “Yes, chef” and “we can't, but touch me!” got dragged out too much, there just didn't seem to be enough tension and angst to keep these two apart for more than 200pgs. 

He didn't know what Iris wanted in the long run, but if there was an inkling of a chance that she wanted him, then he had to take it. 

The ending went a direction that I can't tell felt off and betrayed Iris as a character (there's a little lead in with her evolving relationship with Olive) or if the current real world climate made me personally dissatisfied with it. The majority of the book had Iris not feeling kids were right for her and while she grew to love Olive, it felt somewhat off that in the last 15% she, without much discussion, would decide keeping a baby from a brand new, not even certain relationship, was totally the way to go. I don't know, it just raised some questions for me, but your mileage may vary. Similar to the tone, characterization, and pace of the others in the series, with Archer falling first and trying to play it cool to not scare Iris away and Iris deciding that a life she couldn't fathom before was actually perfect for her, fans of the series will no doubt enjoy this one as much as the others.

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Huh?

I just saw Lord of Hawkfell Island by Catherine Coulter centered in one of those book graphics and an arrow pointing at it saying Historical Rom-com.

Granted, I read this sometime in the mid 90s but, rom-com??? 

This is the one where the MMC is a Viking who takes the FMC Viking captive and his family is trying kill her?

I understand nothing about new marketing deployment of terms and how people are using/understanding them.

Any wild ones (you felt anyway) other readers have seen out there?

Reading Update: Page 1

 

Starting off the week with these goodies! 

I've been enjoying the sweet and spicy Dream Harbor series and I can't wait to see our free-spirited Iris get matched up with the new intense chef in town, Archer. 

Archer has just found out he has a five year old daughter and upended his life in Paris to come take care of Olive after her mother died. Getting a live-in nanny sounded smart but being attracted to her, Not Smart. 

Bring on the sexual tension Iris and Archer 😍 

The Strawberry Patch Pancake House by Laurie Gilmore 

Strawberry Cream Lemon Scones recipe 

Review: Smile for the Cameras

Smile for the Cameras by Miranda Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

And at least one death happened here that wasn’t caught on camera. 

Twenty years ago, Ella starred in the horror movie Grad Night. A small budget film that became an instant hit and has developed a cult following with the progressive sequels. While the film jump started her career, it emotionally destroyed Ella and after a few years on a popular sitcom, she left Hollywood to take care of her sick mother. Now that her mother has died, Ella's ready to try and revive her career. A middle aged woman has a harder time landing roles, so Ella's agent pressures her to do a Grad Night reunion documentary that fans have been clamoring for, in hopes it will open doors for her. Ella lost touch with her cast mates and has tried to steer clear of anything Grad Night, as one murder happened on set that wasn't filmed. Back at the cabin in the woods that started it all, it seems that the secret Ella and her cast mates worked so hard to keep quiet is known by someone and they're willing to murder over it. 

A tall figure stands at the railing, also dressed in a graduation gown and with a blood-spattered lion mask covering the person’s face, an axe with a bloody blade in their hands. 

As a big movie slasher fan, I was excited when I read the synopsis of this. It's told in alternating timelines, Then – 20yrs ago with the movie being filmed and Now – present time with Ella back to the film's location and everyone filming the reunion doc. The alternating timelines are to keep moving the story along in the present time but with the mystery kept quiet until the end of what really happened twenty years ago. There's also add-ins of the movie script, which I really enjoyed as a movie fan. I liked how the story was structured and set-up but I'm not a big fan of unreliable narrator and that tactic was deployed to keep the killer a secret; it feels too cop-out manipulating for me. I enjoyed the first half but then the middle and beginning ending started to sag as Ella and her cast mates kind of just moped around. There were some interesting aspects to the secondary characters but as this was told from Ella's point-of-view, everything is from her perspective, so readers never really get to know the cast until the very end. The story started to ramp up around 60% when the present time murders began to happen and we finally got some slashing. 

You don’t think about what you’re doing, you just do it. 

The vibe of the story felt like a vehicle to go over the #METOO movement and sexism and predators in Hollywood, which, ok, but a lot of the time this was focused on, it felt like the story stopped and we got some awkward fitting pulpit preaching. There were some surprise reveals and just a little head scratching at the who and motives, but still entertaining. Structured interestingly, dragged out in middle because I'm not sure Ella was a strong enough character to carry the story, unreliable narrator, kind of awkwardly fit in preaching, surprising reveals, and some chills and thrills. There were a few call-outs for lovers of the horror movie genre to appreciate but I thought the nine month's into the future epilogue could have used someone popping out of a lake to liven things up.

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Review: Look Before You Leap

Look Before You Leap by Virginia Heath
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review

Miss P had seen something in her to handpick her. Her! Lottie Travers! Tomboy extraordinaire. 

Look Before You Leap is second in the Miss Prentice's Protegees series but you could start here easily, like I did. Lottie was the tomboy who was raised on a farm with four brothers and lost her mother at a young age, young woman trying to smother her wild streak in order to make it as a governess. She has a leg up by having been trained at the lofty Miss Prentice's but after two failed governess jobs, she was busted sneaking out and riding horses in the morning, along with kneeing a bent on assault heir, her marketability is lessening. She winds up getting placed as a companion to an older “dragon” lady, who also winds up being the aunt to a man she accidentally unhorsed when she ran into him during one of her wild gallops. 

Except the sea was now poisoned and he had learned his lesson well that love was for fools. 

Lord Guy Harrowby is a Viscount who much prefers to remain isolated on his farm in Kent, where Lottie is originally from. He made a fool of himself when he was twenty-one over a woman who was only using him to attract a duke and has let the shame fester in him over the years. He lost his father when he was younger and now his mother is guilt tripping him hard to let her throw him a thirtieth birthday party because she wants grandkids. It's all shenanigans as Guy's mother and aunt conspire to throw a house party, instead of the one dinner party he agreed to, and rope Lottie into it all. Guy's still angry at Lottie for the unhorsing incident and how she reprimanding him for it but by 40% they've both made their apologies to each other and you can see their friendship start to develop. 

He had been engaged in a full-scale war between what his sensible, battle-scarred head and his clearly still reckless but equally battle-scarred heart wanted. 

There's physical attraction to go along with that building friendship, a lot of bonding over horses, and some steamy, but interrupted, foreplay (there's an open door scene later on). I was not a fan of how much it was iterated how shallow, dumb, and annoying all the other woman were that were invited to the house party. It becomes very tiring that a chunk of the way you lift your main female character up is to constantly put down the majority of the other woman characters. The series seems to be tied together by a group of friends Lottie had at Miss Prentice's but we don't see a ton of them together, which I missed. 

The menace hadn’t just seduced him, she’d thoroughly bewitched him because nothing would shift her from his mind. 

The third act breakup had Guy going completely off the rails with how mean he is verbally to Lottie and ended up feeling forced to me. I know he's still dealing with his issues of betrayal from his first love but Lottie so clearly didn't deserve the harsh blame. It had been built and layered that Guy was this man of the little people, had visited her father's farm and had her talking to him about how she sent money back home for them, so readers have been reading about a character that by all accounts understood Lottie couldn't lose her job and would feel compelled to do what her employer told her to do. Instead we get a forced to disregard those building blocks in favor of a snapping Guy. It caused drama but the scene and his actions just didn't feel true to me. 

She grabbed a fistful of his cravat. “Just shut up and kiss me.” Lottie dragged his mouth to hers as she simultaneously yanked him inside. 

The ending has Guy making that public move he never would have been able to in the beginning but since we've seen him fall in love, doesn't think twice of it for Lottie. Lottie had charm in her stubbornness and I liked Guy until I really didn't when he blew up on Lottie, and with a very abrupt ending, they got their HEA.

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TBRChallenge Review: Seize the Fire

Seize the Fire by Laura Kinsale
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Tl;dr: Imperfect characters who made awful and heroic choices and a second half that was mostly about war PTSD 

*This is a #TBRChallenge review, there will be spoilers, I don't spoil everything but enough, because I treat these reviews as a bookclub discussion. 

June's TBRChallenge theme was Road Trip, so I headed to my tbr feeling historical and glancing at reviews to see which ones had people talking about traveling. When I saw this Laura Kinsale's fit the bill, I happily jumped in. I read the first 50% of this in one sitting and then my reading mojo hit a major (for me) snag and I couldn't concentrate enough to read for five days straight. I'm mentioning this because I'm going to, mostly, blame my mojo, but I do also think the second half had some major pacing problems, just tough to parse from own issues. My brain can be a sieve, so that first half I raced through, EONS ago!, I guess I'm saying this review/talking about is going to probably read disjointed and foggy, enjoy! 

If you've read Kinsale before, you know you're in for an emotional ride. Sometimes it rips my guts out (The Prince of Midnight) and sometimes I get left on the dock watching the emotions drift away from me (Shadowheart). This one had my eyes filling up and at other times dry eyed wanting to skim, my scatterbrained undecided review, enjoy! 

"I loved you." Her voice trembled into a squeak. "I loved you…and you…betrayed me."

I'm going to start this with the author dedication, This book is dedicated to the combat veterans of Vietnam With respect, and love, and hope for healing. While you'll see the beginning of this from our lead Captain Sheridan Drake in the first half, your enjoyment of the whole second half is going to be if you remember this dedication and read it with the understanding that the story is now all about it. Your enjoyment is also going to hinge on if you want/can handle your leads being deliciously, frustratingly not perfect, because boy howdy do both Sheridan and Olympia fuck it all the way up numerous times. 

The hero she'd loved with all her being had not died. He'd simply never existed. 

The first half has Olympia, our sheltered princess of a small country but has lived all her life in England, setting out to meet her new neighbor, Sheridan. She's heard all about his bravery on his ship and wants to enlist him to use his contacts(???) to help her get to Rome. Why Rome you ask? She's going to appeal to the Pope to stop her betrothal to her uncle (I'd hurry my ass there too!). Her grandfather currently leads the country but he's old and the people have been grumbling for an overthrow to set up a democracy, which Olympia is fully for and plans to help happen. She is the completely young and naive do-gooder that knows the right destination but has no idea what it takes to get there. Readers know Sheridan isn't quite what the papers make him out to be and that he is completely destitute after his father who loved to pull pranks (incredibly dangerous and mean “jokes”) had him invest all his money in a train venture that went bankrupt. There's also the added connection that Sheridan's father's ex-mistress is/was Olympia's governess and tells Sheridan that his father's will gives him nothing, unless he does what she says to do(???). This leads to Sheridan offering marriage to Olympia to save her from her uncle, at ex-mistress' behest and somehow an English ambassador is also involved in telling Sheridan what to do, but she refuses having been poisoned by ex-mistress that she's too fat and unattractive. Sheridan decides to set-up his own plan and agrees to take Olympia to Rome, he sees how jewel rich she is, and then pretend to be kidnapped/killed by a secret assassin group that is after him(???) and steal her jewels riding richly off into the sunset, leaving her behind. 

He laughed bitterly. "God, they were idiots. They'd ask how many ships I'd sunk and how many men I'd killed hand to hand…as if I kept a damned running account. They always wanted to know how it felt…" His voice had begun to shake. "But I never told them. They didn't want to know the truth. Not really." 

It's a bit of a convoluted set-up, especially since Olympia's country drama winds up being like 10% of the story and doesn't come in at all until again at the end. By 20% we have them going on their road (ship) trip and then it's all on with them getting captured by pirates, shipwrecked, living on a island for months, saved, captured by pirates again, sold into slavery, and surviving a blood drunk mob. Late '80s historical romances aren't to be trifled with! There are dated terms in this and Sheridan's manservant/frenemy Mustafa is a bad characterization, so content warnings abounding again. While I enjoyed the meat of how the author allowed Sheridan and Olympia to make bad and wrong choices, they betray one other more than once, I could see how they would ultimately work together but I'm not sure I'd recommend this for the romance. I liked how Kinsale had Sheridan trying to warn Olympia off of him and how even though he thinks he's not worthy, Kinsale even has him do unworthy things (I'm not talking heinous things here), he always remained redeemable to me, which I think can be a good message. The juxtaposition of broken down tattered Sheridan and the bright shiny heroic younger captain that comes in later to be a romantic wedge between him and Olympia was perfect, especially since the shiny guy turned out to be under it all not so great, which YES, give us readers these emotions to wrestle with! The second half is more of a deep dive into how soldiers can be so lost after coming home from war. 

That she would not hate him. That she was glad he was on her side. That he could keep them safe without violence, without hurting anyone. He tried to believe those things. He repeated them to himself. But he was afraid. 

Sheridan is a broken man after all he had to survive. As the reader, it broke me how he was a boy who wanted to make music but after a “joke” by his father gone wrong, ends up on a ship in his preteens and is thrust into trying to survive war. I couldn't help thinking of all the current kids who just want to make music and instead have these awful circumstances thrust upon them; Kinsale did a really great job showing and articulating through Sheridan the scars such a life can leave. There was also an eye watering scene where Sheridan had finally let himself love Olympia only for her to betray him and oof, the emotions he went through here: 

He should have known. He should have realized. It had been so hard for him to believe it was happening. That she could come to know him for what he was, fully, and understand what he'd done by opening the circle of himself and including her. They'd fought together, survived together, shared the miseries and the laughter and the disasters, and each small morning victory of waking up alive. He'd thought that meant something. That was love, that was the only name he had to give it. Last night, when in the midst of his whining concern for his own skin she'd said she loved and trusted him, he'd been so certain of it. He would have died for her then, he would have killed every man on board to protect her—except this was civilization, not a battle, and all he'd been able to do was make some brainless joke to cover the raw surge of emotion and then retreat before he embarrassed himself beyond recovery. She loved him. It had been hard to believe that; it had gone against every instinct built up in years of solitude, but he'd convinced himself. Aye. And he was wrong. 

The love, the betrayal, the pain, just, the THE of it all! Meaty characters. 

"Princess." His voice had a plea in it. "Do you understand? I don't know why the world is like this; I don't know why we go out to fight something that's wrong—something so much bigger than we are, something that ought to be fought—and end up creating a thousand little horrors to stop a huge one. Slavery's wrong. Tyranny's wrong. You weren't stupid or naive or trivial to believe that. You're right. Maybe your revolution was right. You just…didn't understand how real it would be." 

The end has Olympia experiencing some trauma of her own and realizing her own naivety and a reveal for Sheridan that changes some things. This does end in an HEA but I felt a bit too rung out to have that high lovey dovey feeling for them, it's more of a gritty solemn one. The first half read fast for me but some convoluted set-up while the second half seemed to get lost and repetitive stagnate paced (could have been my no mojo brain!). However, if you remember that dedication and realize this whole story was a cover to talk about war induced PTSD you'll feel Sheridan's pain and probably think of the women and men in your own life who never fully make it back from war. These leads lied to each other, fought and survived together, were mean to each other, saved each other, and loved each other, they weren't perfect characters which honestly felt deliciously meaty to me at times. 

"I'm here," she said into his shoulder. "I'm here, and I love you. I love you no matter what."

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Review: Sour Cherry

Sour Cherry by Natalia Theodoridou
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A critic said, “Gothic tales rely on distant pasts and faraway lands full of people unlike us,” except he was wrong, because the land of this story is everywhere. The people are us, the time is always. 

I buddy read this over on a horror Discord. 

Quick thoughts and comments: 

I'm a big fan of folklore, Gothic, horror, and Bluebeard reimaginings/retellings, so I was pretty much the ideal audience for this. I don't know how, but this felt like a fast read and one that dragged all at the same time. The synopsis/marketing copy talked about it being a feminist take but it takes until the second half for the focus to really be on the wives of the tale. That and the different pov and tense changes feeling needlessly challenging and confusing to try and create a mysterious creepy vibe, was mostly why I had a problem with this. Also, some aspects of the story were focused on (Tristan) that felt  counterintuitive and interruptive  to the story's messaging of how abusive men get societal protection and how women get placed in and manipulated into caretaker and shield roles in abusive relationships. 

The first half felt super wonky with how it was structured but the second half read better to me, even though I was annoyed at how it sped through the wives, except for Eunice where I thought the story really settled into what it wanted to be. The focus on the last “special” wife Cherry was back to annoying to me because I think the story lost it's focus again and seemed to want to end the story with stating that Cherry was just as bad as the abusive man, which ok, but then what is this story really about, not what I showed up for based on the synopsis. 

I liked this and was annoyed with it, the atmospheric wonky structured folklore parts mostly didn't work for me but since I'm a fan of that type of storytelling, I still found parts I liked, I think a good chunk of readers will struggle with it, though. The first half felt like it focused on everything and nothing and when I finally found the story working for me in the second half, it sped through it to get to the final wife, a character that did nothing for me. I liked how it showed the systems that protect abusers but not sure this retelling did anything new or attention catching.

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Review: Sterling Hearts

Sterling Hearts by L. Speckhals
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

Sterling Hearts was a first person point-of-view contemporary story of a young woman trying to find her footing in life. Evie has broken up with her emotionally abusive boyfriend and decided to move to the Appalachian area after she fell in love with a town her and the ex had passed through during a vacation. It's a small town but alive enough that she thinks an independent bookstore can be successful, her dream. Evie works to stay walled off, she wants to have a professional persona as a business owner and is still recovering from her abusive relationship, but when a man she dubs “The Cowboy” buys a children's book from her store, she can't help but let him a little. 

This had sweet and cute moments but so much of what kept Evie and Blake (the cowboy) apart was misunderstandings that extremely easily could have been cleared with one simple asked and answered question. This read like a slice of life story with a romantic thread as Evie is very focused on getting her store running and worrying about her business persona in town. When her bestfriend comes to stay with her, we get a more livened up version of Evie as the friend pushes her to get out more and give Blake a chance. 

There's a little bit of a mystery plot with some mysterious person who, through a sort of broker, Evie lets sell jewelry in her bookstore, that will have readers guessing and more than likely know the identity before any reveals. Evie and Blake spend some moments together with helping each other fix cars and redo a bathroom but they talk about everything but Blake's life, his secrets felt needlessly drawn out and ultimately made his character feel kind of blank to me. This was closed door with some hot and heavy making out but the way Blake's character never really revealed things about himself, kept him and his trying to build relationship with Evie feel distant and I never felt emotionally drawn to it. 

The so easy to clear up misunderstandings Evie had that could have been taken care of with one question asked to Blake made Evie's reluctance feel dragged out and kept a large part of their relationship from developing. This was a slice of life with a very to be continued feeling ending that unfortunately didn't develop as much emotional depth in characters and relationships that typically pull me into stories.

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The voices said No

I'm just going to say what I did on Bluesky:

If you've been involved with democratic causes in the last decade in MN, you knew Speaker Hortman and her tireless work to make life better for every Minnesotan. I'm devastated that a continued to not be reckoned with domestic terrorism American ideology has led to the political assassination of her and her husband and the attempted assassination of Sen. Hoffman and his wife. 

The St. Paul rally went forth because our AG Ellison said he was still showing up. Other rallies closer to Brooklyn Park and Champlin were canceled. 

The way some of you almost, gleefully, repost information that has yet to be confirmed, fix your hearts too. Personal bias and acceleration thirst helps no one. I don't want any of that along with thoughts or prayers. I will take your courage and body out in your own communities doing the work. 

Today, I'm not getting out of my jammies, decompressing, grieving, uplifting with all the pictures and videos posted from yesterday, and only accepting to add a few things to a schedule I previously cleared for the week. 

Do the work, take the rest, get back to it

Love and solidarity

Reading Update: Page 1

 

Creamsicle season! This summer I went with cookie form and paired it with a contemporary romance. 

Evie's opened a bookstore that everyone's warned her will be a challenge but she's throwing herself into the adventure. 

There's also the guy who keeps visiting that she thinks of as "The Cowboy" who might turn out to be her biggest adventure of all. 

A contemporary closed door with a cowboy and bookstore? Diving in!

Sterling Hearts by L. Speckhals purchase link

could only find for sale on Amazon

Creamsicle Orange Cookies recipe

Review: Lady or the Tiger

Lady or the Tiger by Heather M. Herrman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

1.5 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

You aren’t going to like me. 

Lady or the Tiger was about a young girl surviving in the American wild west and trying to come into her own. Told, mostly, all from her point-of-view with numerous back and forth time jumps, readers travel with her from the beginning at fifteen years old forced to kill a man to nineteen years old and about to be hung as the Seamstress, a serial killer. This was tagged as young adult but I'd go more new adult, there's nothing completely explicit with the sex and violence but with a first husband who is a sadist in the bedroom, I often felt the messaging of don't give up being yourself for men was stylistically written more for adult thinking; I'm a big Judy Blume fan and I couldn't help comparing the two. The “supporting women's wrongs” with claiming fierce feminism when our lead Alice/Belle lures men with her physical wiles to murder them, just wasn't groundbreaking or entertaining for me, your mileage may vary. 

For a ghost, he looks very much alive. 

Alice gets sent to an asylum after she murders a man and her mother is killed. From there she is forced to marry Reginald, a cop, as a means of escape. She becomes useful to him by helping him cheat while gambling and they travel the west and Europe but he's the sadist in the bedroom and when Alice locks eyes with a boy in Texas, they spend a night together and escape Reginald. Alice then becomes Belle and travels the west and Europe with the carnival of The Damned, falling in love with Cal, the Texas boy, and taming a tiger to dance with. One night things unravel and Belle runs while Cal saves her from a dire situation, but eventually at nineteen Belle turns herself in for the Seamstress murders and wants to be hung because she thinks/knows she's done wrong. Her plan gets ruined when Reginald shows up and says she's crazy, citing the asylum stay, and tries to save her. 

And though I have shot two men, kissing a boy here in the fading light, without last night’s irresistible spell to carry me away or my shadow to guide me, feels like the bravest thing I have ever done. 

Like I said, the timeline is cut and spliced wildly, Alice/Belle starts off ready to be hung, then you'll go from how she escaped Reginald, her murderous time as the Seamstress, time with Cal, how she married Reginald, and the time at the asylum. There's some unreliable narration going on and an ending that takes a page from the short story it's title is inspired by (The Lady or the Tiger). If you can handle non-linear stories, telling you feminism is simply doing what you want, cool real women historical figures shout-outs, a good message (lost in the story for me most the time) of don't change yourself for love or chance at it, and an open-ended ambiguous ending, then this was something different along those lines.

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Reading Update: 50%

After leaving Lady Isadora, Elizabeth went to her room to fetch her pelisse and the small pistol that her father had given her to protect herself. 

‘I do not think you will have cause to use it,’ Sir Edwin had told her when he taught her to shoot straight as a young girl. ‘But it is possible, Elizabeth. You like to walk alone and I would not have you afraid—but if you should be attacked, shoot the rogue and be damned to the consequences!’

Happy early Father's Day to Sir "be damned the consequences!" Edwin

Review: The Compound

The Compound by Aisling Rawle
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

3.5 stars 

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review 

I’ve always been a passive kind of person; it is both my worst quality and the thing that people like most about me. 

If you've ever watched the tv show Big Brother and wished it had a darker vibe, then you're going to want to read The Compound. Told from contestant Lily's point-of-view readers wake up with her in a house in the desert. As she finds nine other younger women scattered throughout the house we learn that the ten men who will join them will come from the surrounding desert. They will be filmed constantly, Lily's watched and been a fan of the show, and have to complete tasks as a group for rewards and be able to complete personal tasks for goodies. The goal is to be the last one house-guest, when you'll be able to ask for anything you want and get it, provided you still remain in the house. It all sounds like a fun break to win prizes but as the story went on, competitiveness and darker personalities began to seep in through the cracks. 

I was there because I thought that this was what I was supposed to want: the house and the rewards and all the nice things. 

As the narrator, you'd think your sympathies will be solidly with Lily, and they are at times, but she works as a mirror to hold up to yourself, consumerism, and influencer culture. Lily's honest with us readers and as someone who works a retail job, lives at home at twenty-five, and has a father she hasn't seen in years because he's off fighting a war, she's on the reality tv show to “take a break” and win prizes she would otherwise never be able to afford. Part of the show's concept is that each night the men have to pick a woman to sleep with in bed, if someone doesn't have a partner the next morning they are banished. This creates competition between the women and sets up a heteronormative dynamic. There is a lot being said in this story and while I think the author started some conversations that need to be had, I'm not sure they all stuck the landing, especially towards the end. There wasn't much outerworld building, it's vague future dystopian with climate change and wars, but if you're here for discussions on some of the topics I mentioned, the microcosm world in the house provides enough different personalities and situations.

He looked around him, his face pinched in sadness. “Do you really want to live here, in this…wasteland?” 

“It’s no worse than what’s out there! Is that what you want to go back to? Constantly living on the periphery of disaster, just waiting and waiting and waiting for it to finally reach us, doing stupid, dull work to pass the days until then? We’re safe here— we’re removed from all of it.” 

“It’s still there, Lily. It’s still happening. You think that because we can’t see it, it’s not going on?” 

With so many characters the beginning was a little tougher to get a handle on but it becomes clear fairly early who are the contestants to keep an eye on. I liked how Lily had some personality components that we all probably have and don't necessarily like about ourselves and following along with the choices she made works to confront some of those indoctrinated lines of thought. This had some thriller vibes that I enjoyed, the threat of violence was always prevalent. This often felt poised to say something, it got there at times and never quite reached it at others for me. Coated in the bleakness of late stage capitalism, this dark vibed Big Brother starts a lot of conversations on the ever fascinating topics of societal structures and human nature.

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TBRChallenge Review: Evvie Drake Starts Over

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

After all this time, he would wonder, why now? He wouldn’t know that, today exactly, Evvie had been with him for half her life. 

In continuing to limp my way to completing SuperWendy's TBRChallenge, I finally finished May's Older Couple theme book. Now, when I was looking for a book for this theme Evvie Drake was on numerous lists for older couples, it was at my local library, so I could use it for a bingo square for another game I'm playing, and it has been on my tbr for more than five years. Y'all, I think Evvie is in her early to late thirties and I'm guessing Dean is in the mid to late thirties range. Older couple. I feel like dust. Anywhooooooooo 

“I do think we should have a deal.” 

She looked at him expectantly. 

“You don’t ask me about baseball,” he said, “and I don’t ask you about your husband.” 

On the day that Evvie is packing her car to leave her highschool sweetheart husband, he gets into a car accident and dies. This leaves her as the “grieving” widow, stuck in a role that doesn't fit. I'd put this in the women's fiction with romance category and while I enjoyed Evvie and Dean's interactions and chemistry, it was all about that living in quiet desperation with a supposed golden boy who is emotionally and physically abusive. Exploring Evvie's character as she goes through life and interactions trying to maintain her composure, keeping up a facade that she not only can't physically or emotionally do anymore, she's learning that she doesn't need or should have to. I liked how the author showed the nefarious ways it's easy to slip into this role and dynamic, Evvie met her husband while still in highschool and felt “lucky” to be noticed by him, all the while learning (emotional abused) how to keep him happy at the expense of herself (She was the one, after all, who had graduated second in her class, right behind him, after tanking her math final because she knew how much it meant to him to be valedictorian.). Along with emotional abuse there are physical abuse content warnings, this shows how as their relationship went on and her husband felt more comfortable, the abuse was ramping up. Evvie didn't have the language or emotional maturity to fully understand what was happening to her, especially since her abuser was so apt at keeping it hidden and the culture of shame kept her quiet. It's what makes this story/book so important, giving space to talk out and name these abuses. 

They wouldn’t have believed that the reasons she rarely felt like dancing with him had to do with the way he was at home. She knew the way he sort of glowed for most people. She probably knew it better than anybody, because she’d traded away more than anybody in return for it. 

Dean did have his own issues, he got the yips during his major league pitching career, which ultimately ended it. Evvie's bestfriend Andy is friends with Dean and he pairs them together with Dean renting out an apartment in Evvie's house so he can get away from the spotlight. It's summer so I loved the baseball additive and enjoyed some of the baseball history and lore but the ending to this thread of his was kind of meh, which I guess is another life lesson but meh all the same. This took place over a year, so you could say their relationship was a slow burn and again, I enjoyed them together but not the main reason I gave this four stars. 

“Who knows you?” he asked. 

The other main relationship was Evvie and her bestfriend Andy and how by her not telling him the truth about her marriage made Andy feel not as close or as important to her as he felt she was to him. It's a great look/discussion in all the ways people work to hide themselves and keep up an image by trying to protect themselves emotionally but end up only hurting themselves more. Also, a great look at how friendships can change over time as romances enter the picture. This was languid at times, insightful, emotional, funny, sweet, and hurt so good. The way it showed and called out a particular form of hidden abuse and how Evvie eventually built up the strength to call it so and work to emotionally navigate through it, will make you want to donate a copy to every library.

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